Birthday disaster

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I have had a roller coaster of emotions regarding my birthday which is in two weeks, at first I was dreading turning twenty, really did not want to get older because the older I get the more I feel distanced from my friends and peers, the more I feel like my brain is out to destroy my life by being so damaged. It's not as though I am physically disabled (not wheelchair bound anyway) but I feel my lack of social skills and such makes me unable to have the freedom and be the adult I want to be.
I became more positive about my birthday once I eventually plucked up the courage to ask for a snake, something I have wanted for a long time and know how to care for through my animal care qualifications. I was told no. And was devastated. After two days of tears and being very down I finally
Managed to get a reason.
My dad finds snakes horrible slimy (even though they aren't!) things and he's a bit scared of them. My mum suggested the tortoise I had talked about the week before. The tortoise belonged in my friend's family run animal rescue centre. I got in contact with my friend tonight after almost having my parents on board, but unfortunately her mum has decided to keep the tortoise.
My mum and Dad, understandably, aren't going to pay £200 for a ship bought young tortoise and it's equipment. So I am currently left with no birthday present.
This is worrying me on one level and upsetting me on another. I am desperate for a pet that I can keep in my room, that would be solely mine and that I would make the decisions for. I think this has sprung from my sister being pregnant. Yes I am thrilled to be an aunty and will adore the baby but I feel a bit worried about how I might react to not being able to make any decisions, for it being my sisters baby and her word being the last. This is why I was hoping for a pet of my own. I already have a cat but he doesn't come into my room very much and he is his own person. I want something to take care of.
Then there is my worry. I am very bad at hiding disappointment, my brain doesn't 'get' it and I find it hard to deal with. Therefore I'm concerned that the surprise birthday present my parents will now give me will be a disappointment. Currently I'm pretty certain that anything not alive would be a disappointment.
I am scared of upsetting my
Parents by seeming ungrateful but I can't keep suggesting animals that
I'd like and I can't think of any other animal they would allow me to have. I'm really worried about this, and tried to express it by saying I didn't want anything else for my birthday but I think that just sounded like I was sulking. I don't know what to do about the whole situation. I am currently also suffering from depression and the idea of having an animal to keep as my own was making me excited for the first time in a long time, now that I am unlikely to get one I feel totally energy less and down.

I'm sorry you're feeling down, Pixie.

How would your parents feel about adopting a dog or cat from an animal shelter? How would you feel?

I understand you don't want to turn 20--but it has to happen some time.

You can always be a kid in some respects--but it's good for you to become an adult in some respects, too.

I'm sorry you can't get a snake.I have a rescued ball python and it's very easy to care for and docile.Too bad the tortoise didn't work out.Perhaps a Leopard Gecko? They are easy to care for,mine enjoys being handled.No need for special lighting or a big enclosure.They do need live food such as crickets or super worms.These are available at pert stores or online.In the summer I just catch bugs for mine with the porch light.They have a long life span,mine is going on twelve years old.
Growing old just happens,I never imagined I'd be 51.