The "Instant turn-off" effect?

Post Reply New Topic

As with almost everyone else who has AS I have no close friends - plenty of acquaintances who may well say "hello" in passing and might even ask if I did anything interesting at the weekend but will *always* keep me at arm's length. So naturally at work I'm quietly regarded as the office 'odd one' which gets to me but clearly isn't going to ever change however that's not really what this is about.

I've noticed that when I meet people for the first time - often if all we've said is "hello" - 99% of the time those barriers shoot up immediately. Sometimes even before we get introduced or had the chance to verbally interact. I mean be fair, if I'm going to make them feel uncomfortable at least let me have the chance to do so first!

But seriously it's as if they can pick up on my 'strangeness' just by looking, as if I have some kind of 'aura'. I see other people around me meeting and interacting for the first time, and they often connect or 'click' straight away.

Why am I getting the opposite? As far as I can tell my body language is as normal as everyone else, I don't use eye contact any more or less than others. When these people then get their barriers up I can almost sense them blocking me out. You know how some people try to not look at you, pretend they haven't noticed you etc so hard that it's like they're staring you waving flags and blowing whistles? Like that.

If this happens a group situation I then feel even more awkward - if they're trying to blank me out does that mean they don't want me speaking to them? So do I avoid saying anything to them at all, thereby almost 'blanking' them back? If so am I making the others around us feel awkward if they can see me blanking that person?

Pretty sure I can't be the only person who has this "instant turn-off" effect on people....

I seem to have the ability to instant turn off anyone my own age (and have my whole life), yet instantly attract babies, toddlers, seniors and mothers/grandmothers. I haven't the foggiest idea why.

I remember I even had a woman at work in an elevator (not a coworker) flat out tell me I looked like a serial killer to the shock of her friends. I suppose considering serial killers are experts at charming people I should see it as a compliment!?!

That woman was paranoid out of her mind. I wouldn't use her as a barometer of what people truly feel about you.

People who are stupid and ignorant tend to dislike me intensely.

People who have some brains tend to like me better, because they go beyond the surface, go beyond my superficial awkwardness.

Serial killers are experts at not looking like serial killers.

I feel this way too. A lot of people act really uncomfortable or indifferent towards me while acting friendly with other people and a lot of people seem to push me away after a while. There's a lot of people that also go from being cold towards me to being friendly so I try to keep my distance from them in case they are trying to gaslight me or something.

You may not like this explanation, but it's because we have hearts and most people do not. They feel the aura that you care for all creatures and all people, and that disgusts them.

They are the damned.

And, HockeyFan, I believe that woman did that just to make you feel bad, because she could tell the same thing I just highlighted. Were there other people in the elevator? That would have played into her favor, because she could move them to dislike you as well.