Sorry to hear you are struggling so much in life. Sadly intelligence doesn't equal success, it is a hard lesson to learn. I've been where you are, spinning your wheels, failing at everything in life, going nowhere and stuck in a toxic home environment surrounded by no one that understands you. I empathize with what you are going through. Do you have an official diagnosis of autism? I know that was the turning point in my life when not only I could start to understand why my life turned out the way it did, despite my intelligence, but it also helped my situation at home, for others to understand why I was struggling with things similar to what you describe.