You MAY totally lose control, but that's OKAY----in-FACT, I RECOMMEND it!!
I think that would've been a better solution than the way *I* chose to deal with my older sister's death, when she died around this time last year, from stage 4 cancer. I wouldn't allow myself to cry / lose it, because I had so many things to attend to----so, I would end-up doing things like sitting at the bus stop talking to someone, and having tears well-up in my eyes (thank goodness for sunglasses); and, that lasted for at least a WEEK (whereas, maybe, if I'd let myself go, I would've gotten a grip, after a day or two----NOT, that I would've been over it; but, I feel one should allow themselves, the process).
I feel it would be HEALTHY if you allow yourself a little "breakdown"; then, you can pick yourself up, and go from there----just don't let it consume you.