This needs to stop.
I don't want anyone to contact me. With every phone call, I just want to throw my phone out the window. Why are people still calling me when I clearly told them in a very thought-out email that people trying to contact me makes me extremely angry and suicidal?
I don't know what do anymore. I completely ignore everyone who tries to contact me, yet they are trying even harder. This needs to stop. I am fixated on my thesis, work, and my special interests in health and nutrition. I am fine emotionally when I limit my contact with people, because people are unpredictable, indirect, and take an interest in my life, which I find very disturbing. The social I get at work is just enough and just right, because people at work don't poke their nose into my personal business, don't disrupt my routines, and actually talk about stuff I am interested in.
I'm already super slow at work and need extra time for my work duties. My weekends are consumed by my thesis. I don't need anything else in my life right now.
WHY. ARE. PEOPLE. SO. EFFING. NEEDY.
_________________
Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).
Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.
aspieinaz
Sea Gull
Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Age: 73
Gender: Female
Posts: 248
Location: Sitting on the beach, staring at the waves
Sounds like they don't give a s**t. You might as well repay them in kind and let them waste their own time trying to contact you to no avail, once you've already told them you don't want such contact.
_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
BirdInFlight
Veteran
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
It does sound like they are just giving complete disrespect to what you clearly asked them not to do. If you've done your bit by sending that e-mail expressly telling people you don't like getting phone calls, what it does to you to get them, and offering a preferred method of contact, yet they still fly in the face of your request and explanation, then that's on them.
If there's a feature on your phone or service that blocks their number, maybe do that. And if they say to you later "Wth?" simply remind them of the e-mail you sent explaining why calls are a negative for you. Sometimes the only way to teach someone how you want them to behave toward you when they insist on defying that, is to make them feel the sting of what happens when they don't. If they continue, get even tougher with them.
Some remedies you can try, short of blocking or changing phone numbers:
- Turn phone off. Just let the voice mails pile up.
- Go through voice mails every third day in a disciplined fashion, deleting everything that doesn't seem important.
One other word of advice: If you want people to leave you alone, don't talk about suicide. That just makes them even more concerned about you.
Good luck with work and your thesis.
_________________
A finger in every pie.
I don't get non-work related internet time during the week so responding by phone in brief. I can't turn my phone off because I get business/appointment related calls sometimes (e.g., from the computer store, consultation inquiries). I don't mind focused conversations at all, I'm just so into my thesis and work that I can't stand being pestered to talk about anything else. I have zero desire to make personal connections with people. I want to make sure that when they do contact me, it's for a specific inquiry regarding needing help/advice on something rather than pointless questions about myself, which is why email suits me best. I get really anxious about listening to voicemails for some reason, perhaps because I know some people may not be happy with me and it would show in their tone of voice. So I am tempted to just delete the voicemails right away and don't want people leaving them, either.
I'm very attached to my phone number. It is a really nice number with a rare area code that I would deinitely not be able to get if I were to change my number.
I could turn off the phone connection whenever I go through periods of time when I'm not expecting any phone calls. Is there a way to turn off the phone reception without turning off text, though? Me and my co-workers text each other all the time about work-related stuff, so I need that.
_________________
Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).
Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.
I don't know what phone you have but some phones have function to block incoming calls, for example:
There also apps for this, for example: https://play.google.com/store/apps/deta ... yblacklist
It's either blatant disrespect and selfishness, or misunderstanding.
I too am very freaked out by the phone, even freaked out by listening to voicemails. I have problems with speech cognitively and it just ... Jars. Generally with me it goes thus -
1. People ask me for my phone number
2. I refuse
3. People insist I "have to" give it to them and get angry and ask why I won't
4. I say that I don't answer the phone because I choose not to. Dependent on the situation I may mention it is because of my autism, or my speech problems. Thus, if they called, I may miss the caller not answer. But if they email me,I will absolutely get back to them asap as I check and respond to this frequently. It's up to them - persist with phoning me and get no response, or try to cooperate and either email or text me and I will comply.
You said you're attached to your phone number so you may not want to, but I change my phone number periodically to avoid this - even with being stringent with who it goes out to, you have a phone number long enough and there's no predicting who might be calling it. Changing it cuts off all these people and lets you start over with only people you want to have the number.
_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.
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