Raleigh this is an enormous shock, for you and those of us here who treasure your presence on Wrong Planet. You may not know that I have had cancer in the past, and I remember how unreal it felt to be informed of the diagnosis - as if I was watching a film about someone else, really. But reading what you have written feels all too real, and it distresses me to know of your illness.
You will be constantly in my thoughts now, everyday. I know you are both a sensitive and strong person, with many different strands to your self. Now perhaps you will find that you call on less used parts of your self, and draw strength from them. Cancer taught me things and took me through experiences that were really quite special, and drew others who loved me closer. I hope that there will also be unexpected upsides for you, whatever the nature of them may be.
I remember last year, when R2D2 told us how very ill he was, that his cancer was at an advanced stage and he did not expect to survive it, as his kind of cancer has a very high mortality rate. He doesn't post on WP anymore, and has had extensive and aggressive treatment, and when I last checked his Facebook page earlier this year he was still going strong and the treatment was working. I also hope that this unexpected recovery will happen for you.
Doctors don't know - and don't pretend to know, if they are honest - why some people recover against the odds. I don't know either, though I have seen it happen in extraordinary circumstances.
Severe illness is a journey to the centre of the hidden, unknown heart and soul of ourselves. We meet a person there who is bigger and stronger and in every way more wonderful we supposed; it is the hidden self, and it is healing self, and it is the powerful self. The self who knows far more than our everyday version of ourselves.
May that journey for you be blessed with unexpected benefits and marvellous experiences. Please get all the rest you need; care for yourself with loving kindness; seek the company of those who can appreciate and encourage you without judgement, as they too can be healing forces.
Thank you for sharing this with us. Be hopeful, you are precious. (((
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