how do you move on if unable to apologize?

Post Reply New Topic

I believe I'd inadvertently, been very hurtful to a friend while I had been upset. I had not had a chance to process what I had said and, as soon as I did, it began to eat away at me. I have tried to apologize, but, there's been no response. I don't feel I am owed one, however, I am desperate to find some semblance of peace within my mind, as I am unable to stop thinking about it. I am sure that I will never have another opportunity to speak with him about what happened, or apologize, properly. I have never spoken to anyone so harshly, and, this was my good friend who has been profoundly special to me. I have to find a way through it.

Last edited by Britte on 28 Aug 2016, 11:56 pm, edited 5 times in total.

Yep....It's happened to me.

It's not a good feeling.

I'm wondering if there is some way you can apologize, even though you might not think that there is a way,

Thank you. There is not.

http://hubpages.com/health/Forgive-Your ... Resentment

Thank you for your article, cathylynn.

some might accept flowers of apology, in that roses [for example] might speak louder than words. or a gift card to something this other person might enjoy.

Yup some flowers and an old fashioned hand written letter can do wanders... maybe write about what happened as it can be easier than a conversation which later reflecting on you wish you had said this or that... A letter might allow you to put into words things a little easier and gives you time to mull over the sentences to try and see if they can be accidentally interpreted in a manner you dont intend... Dont worry, happens to me alot as far as misunderstandings, and occasionally went from white to red in a nano second and have replied in a manner that is not myself due to the situation at the time to later regret.. It happens to us all my friend, try not to beat yourself up about it... Im sure she would appreciate a hand letter arriving in the mail box as most people would just send a txt... it Shows caring and thoughtfulness

OOPs, sorry, miss read the 'Him', in your sentence... maybe not the flowers but still the idea of a letter wouldn't hurt!... A real friend will listen and have some understanding of yourself, and from what i have learnt is if they dont then dont waste time and energy on them as thats all you'll be giving them in future! true friends forgive each other easily, any relationship as a friend or even intimate shouldn't be a constant challenge, it should in some way be a natural, comfortable exchange...If you feel like you are always trying and he is making you feel bad, then this sounds like there is some negative emotional manipulation from his part and would run like the plague if i was you... If its just a misunderstanding , then a letter should be sufficient, if they then dont want to understand then move on and save yourself potential future headaches with such individual..as they arent REAL friends!... sorry, just my 5 cents

there are some men who would be emotionally touched by the receipt of flowers, a case in point was when ringo starr was disrespected by the other beatles to the point where he briefly quit in 1968, and when he dropped back in, the other beatles decorated his drumset with arrangements of roses.

Yup auntblabby, you are absolutely correct, i do apologize, 40 years of listening to what male stereotypes should act and behave like has my mind confused from what i hear to what i actually feel and think deep inside... If that made any sense? lol... Actually i think it would be a really great gesture! Sorry, dont listen to me! auntblabby holds the wisdom chalice, after thinking longer about it, he makes perfect sense

you have wisdom too! I think your suggestion that the OP send a written valentine to the other party is even better advice

apologies never meant anything to me.
i neither want nor issue apologies.

also, when apologizing, simpler is usually better, so you don't force a reliving of the pain. so "sorry i insulted you," is better than sorry i called you _____ and _____."

There might not be a way to apologize at this moment in time.

But...who knows? Conditions might change in the future.

This has happened to me, too. Where I did something which really made someone upset--but, later on, the person thought about it, and allowed me to try to make amends with her.

Living is quite a dynamic thing, really.

Sometimes I've been very upset over my own behavior, but later found out it barely had an effect on the other person. Take some deep breaths and contact your friend in a casual way, then the next time you have a chance, say you didn't feel too good about whatever happened. This is not an apology, it's an opening to a conversation. Good luck.

Thank you, all, for your valuable words of wisdom! I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to share them with me. You've all made valuable points, for me to consider. b9, reading your remark has left me feeling a sense of relief. Thank you.

If it makes a difference, I have felt so much better, today. Yesterday was hellish, but, for some reason, I woke up, this morning, feeling completely different about things. A friend of mine has helped me get a grasp on things, as well..Thank you, all, once again! Britte

Am just glad you feel better