I just don't understand.

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Chronos
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09 Sep 2016, 6:52 am

I suppose this is more of a rant than anything, but I just don't really understand what has gotten into people these days.

It seems that more and more people think it's ok to be intentionally rude and insulting to others online, whom they have some connection to offline.

Recently, a post showed up on my Facebook newsfeed, from someone I didn't know, but is apparently a real life friend of a close relative, and because I had some input on it, and the poster had set their privacy settings such that I could comment on it, I did.

Essentially, their post was concerning a rumor in the news, and I merely shared why I thought the rumor was not true. Apparently this person took offense to the fact that I didn't agree with them, and launched a personal attack against me by posting a mocking icon, hurling an insult at me, and telling me not to make comments on their posts on issues I clearly didn't understand.

I responded by telling this person there was no need to be rude, and pointing out that the post appeared on my newsfeed and allowed me to comment due to their privacy settings, which they control, not I. I also presented further evidence to illustrate how I came to the conclusions concerning the rumor that I did.

I have no idea how my relative will respond to this, if at all. I do not know if she will scold her friend for being rude to me, or be upset with me because rather than taking the insult and letting it go, as I would have in the past, I doubled down on the facts, and posted more to substantiate how I came to my conclusion. I would not be surprised if it turns out my relative becomes upset with me for not letting her friend save face at my expense, as past experience says most people favor social ties over facts and will side with the person in the wrong if it's more socially favorable for them to do so. I find that people on the spectrum, no matter how altruistic, well intended, or correct, often get the short end of the stick in social politics, and tend to have more adversaries than allies....at least this has been my experience.

Oh well. If my relative decides I should have just taken the abuse, and chooses not to associate with me anymore, I would have to wonder if I've actually lost anything.



kraftiekortie
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09 Sep 2016, 7:28 am

You should not allow yourself to be abused anywhere---online or offline.

We have to emphasize the need for respect in human relationships--all around.

Yeah....I guess I'm a pretty boring guy LOL



0_equals_true
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10 Sep 2016, 11:43 am

People love the rumour mill, that is why papers sell.

People often don't get due process, they want to be judge, jury and executioner.

In the open market place of ideas, all idea are open to be criticised.

This is part of the problem with certain activists is they don't subscribe to that, and wish to control what is a valid speech.



Britte
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10 Sep 2016, 1:45 pm

Chronos, what I've learned, is, if you state anything contrary to what is stated by a person who is high in narcissistic traits, you will likely get an earful/be responded to, in the way you've described your experience, particularly if the interaction takes place within a public venue. Once I notice this trait in a person, I refrain from having further contact with them, because it isn't worth my time or mental energy, to engage with such people. If it happens that your relative becomes upset with you for not letting her friend 'save face at your expense', as you have stated as a possibility, then, perhaps, it will be safe to say that your relative has a weak spot in their character, and doesn't have their priorities straight.

edit: I know how disheartening it can be when this type of thing happens, so, I want to say that I hope you are ok, now.



BeaArthur
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10 Sep 2016, 10:54 pm

In general, I abstain from commenting on friend-of-a-friend posts, but only comment on those who are friends of mine. Facebook has been a minefield for all manner of people, not just those with autism, and so I think a few cautions are always in order. There is a reason that thumbs up "Like" actions are available, but not thumbs down "Hate" actions. That's Facebook trying to please everyone and alienate no one. (Facebook has a financial incentive to do so, while you do not have that incentive.)

Thus, Facebook is a place where narcissists want to feel safe in accruing the likes and heart emojis. Most people do not post with the expectation of an argument.

I'm not saying you were wrong to post your dissent, but you might have foreseen the possibility that it would not be warmly received.


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Tobes
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11 Sep 2016, 1:29 am

You handled it well by keeping to the facts and not being rude in your replies. In the future, though, it's probably not even worth replying to someone who is rude. Forget the arguement right away and move on.



Chronos
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11 Sep 2016, 2:27 am

I wish to thank you all for your perspectives.

There has been no further activity on this issue to report. Perhaps due to the recent development of more pressing circumstances.