Daughter's friend shot at a party last night...

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This is mostly just me venting and processing...

My daughter attends university. She just got her first apartment off campus. I was helping her settle in yesterday... hanging pictures, arranging furniture and so on. She was telling me how she and her boyfriend were thinking about going to the game up at campus last night.

We got an automated call type thing last night around 2am, letting us know that the campus was on lock down after a shooting that happened at an off campus apartment building that is home to several students (not where my daughter lives).

There was a big party in back of the apartment complex. Someone fired off 16 rounds and only five people were shot... one of them being my daughter's friend. None of the people shot were critically injured. Police are still looking for the suspect, but the news is saying the five people were intended targets. My daughter's friend isn't in a gang or anything. Who knows though, with gang violence, sometimes all you have to do is make the mistake of talking to someone you did not know was in a gang to get yourself shot. I dunno... it's so stupid and unnecessary.

My daughter was at that party. She said that five minutes before the gun shots went off, she started bugging her boyfriend to leave because she had to pee. The party was so crowded she could not wait to use a bathroom there, so she wanted to head up to the campus dorms to use the bathroom of one of her friends still living there. The campus is right across the street so it was convenient. Had she stayed, she would have been right in the middle of where the people were shot.

This sh** is p***ing me off.

Had my daughter not left when she did, I could have gotten a very different call last night. She is okay, but shook up. Understandably so. She goes to a game, goes to an after party to celebrate her university's win and misses being in the middle of 16 gun shots because she had to pee.

The most messed up part of it all, to me, is how normal this kind of s*** is in my town. This isn't the first party my daughter has gone somewhere and someone she knows has gotten shot. Hell, one time she was visiting a friend who just had a baby and when she was leaving, a drive by shooting happened. Thankfully she got in her car in time and managed to duck down and avoid that mess. It makes my head spin.

I'm glad she is okay. I'm glad her friend is okay. I'm pissed off because this stuff keeps happening. My town needs a time out.

I'm sorry all this is happening to you. You don't deserve this crap. You're not looking for trouble.

That's all I can say at this point.

You and your families/friends deserve to lead a decent life.

Maybe its time for you guys to move? She could transfer Uni and I'm sure you could find somewhere else to live, somewhere safer? If you ever needed a sign to make a huge change in life, thats it.

That is everyone worst nightmare, I hope everyone gets support and care.

The thing that is remarkable is that nobody shot was critically injured. Under typical condition that would be extremely rare. Firming into a crowd.

I wonder what actually happened, what the gunman did and intended to do.

Thank you. That's one of the things bothering me so much... she takes time off work to move (she never takes time off), works her butt off for two days moving in, decides to go to a game and party to relax and have some fun with her boyfriend and one of her friends gets shot. What the hell. Her friend did nothing to deserve that either. None of us are gang type people. This kinda stuff drives me nuts.

Not that it makes it okay when gang types kill each other, but at least it makes sense. They know about and expect that type of violence. This was a retaliation situation. Why they had to take it to a college party is beyond my comprehension. Craziest part of it was that there were over 1000 people there. This guy fires 16 shots into a crowded courtyard area... it's amazing only 5 people were injured. There was only, I believe, one way in and out of that space.

She's a social work/early education major. She wants to stay local and help kids once she gets her degree. Plus, the school she attends is outstanding for secondary education. She decided to stay local not for convenience, but because it has the best secondary education program in the state for what she is looking to do. She won't transfer. She wants to stay here after she graduates as well... do some kind of child advocacy.

As for myself, I cannot afford to move. I live well under the poverty line and the cost of the safer, smaller communities in my area are more than I can afford.

Then there's the whole, we live here so and it's kinda normalized to us all... if that makes sense. We are usually one of the top ten most violent cities per capita (when dealing with small cities... we have a population of about 50,000) and have been for several years. For awhile we were number one. You just kinda get used to it after awhile.

This one is just hitting close to home for me. Not just because of my daughter and her friend, but because it was likely retaliation for a fifteen year old boy at my husbands school who just died a few days back from a fatal gunshot wound. Then we found out another one of his students (this one graduated last year) was shot and killed later last night. The description they gave of the party shooter last night is a kid who currently goes to my husband's school and if it is that kid, we know people he is related to as well.

This whole thing is just hitting on too many levels... it's got my head a mess today.

Thank you.

Yeah, it really is remarkable no one was killed. I have no idea how that managed to happen. All I can figure was the shooter either had awful aim or was really drunk or both. Who knows. The sheer volume of people there and the way the space was set up... it was ideal for the worst possible outcome. Everyone there lucked out, I guess.

I really do believe it was gang/family retaliation over the 15 year old who died last week. That kinda thing happens here... people want revenge and they seek it out. Violence breeding violence and it becomes this big mess. I hope no one else has to die over this.

Oh and just got a text from another friend, one of her friend's step son was one of the people shot as well. He is on his way into surgery right now. What the hell... this stuff won't quit hitting close to home today.

And this is where I start thumping my head into my hands... bloody hell.

Most people, in the world, really, can't just move at a moment's notice.

I wish, in a way, that we still built our own houses.

I fully understand why it would be difficult to move, and the difficult situation you are in. My thoughts, although unrealistic, are primarily about your safety and your daughters safety.

Living in the south of England, I can't possibly comprehend regular gun crime and shootings. It simply doesn't happen here. The fact that you are used to it is sad, I can't possibly understand how people can get used to it, and that drastic action isn't being taken to prevent it in the future.

Your daughter came very close to being shot, and you make it sound like everyone is ready to brush it off and carry on like normal. I dont know where you live, I assume it's the USA, but from reading your first post it could easily have been the middle east. I know that sounds ridiculous, but from a foreign point of view...

If I were you, I'd move. Somehow make it happen. Looking back years later you'd probably think it was the best decision you ever made. On the same token, if you didn't move and something bad did actually happen, you'd wish you did.

Sorry if I'm causing further sorrow, I only mean to help.

That is just horrific. I'm so sorry this happened; nobody should have to live with this stuff.

I also totally get how just up and moving isn't just as simple as that. Moving one's entire life, all one's belongings, far enough away that everything else has to change too -- banks, jobs, everything you do and everywhere you go, shop, etc. Moving to a whole new area is MASSIVE, stressful and a big life change; I know, I've done it twice on a huge scale, and as a result I never want to go through a "whole new area" move again if I can help it.

Oh, no, you are not causing further problems at all. You're fine. I get where you are coming from. My spouse and I have discussed moving before, but it's not anything we can manage. Then I have lived here my whole life and I dunno. You can buy a foreclosed house in my town for $1500. You could buy the exact same house in a little town just out of the city for $200,000. It's crazy to me how much those houses can cost. I think sometimes about walking away from my house, letting the bank just take it, and getting one of those $1500 ones just so I could have a few extra dollars each month because I don't now. But I haven't done that yet because the neighborhoods are worse.

Yeah, I do live in the states, Michigan to be specific. And yeah, if any more has been in the news about this, I have missed it. My daughter had a bbq with her boyfriend and his family yesterday... she got to meet the parents for the first time. This isn't the first time she has been at a party where someone/s has been shot. It stressed her out, but she's okay now. I mean, people are not happy about it and those kids who were at that party will be kinda shook up for awhile... especially the people who lived in that apartment building. That place isn't in town proper... violence like this doesn't usually happen there and they had it happen literally in their backyard, so that has to be weird for them to live through. But no further shootings have happened to my knowledge so that's a good thing.

Thank you.

I have lived here since I was four years old. Yeah, the change aspect is one that I find uncomfortable as well. It would mess me up for a long time to have do do little things like even learning to navigate a new grocery store. I get set off if the one I go to rearranges things now. I don't like change. I don't like moving either. I have done that a few times in my adult life and hated it every time and we just moved around town a bit. It's a huge, chaotic mess and I function poorly in that sort of situation. Last time we moved we came here because it's a kid friendly neighborhood and we wanted the kids to have a place where they could just go ride bikes or whatever. The kids are all grown and moved out now... we could downsize, but we'd have to let the bank take our house because we'd never get out of it what we put into it, and it probably wouldn't sell even below cost and I can't afford to take that hit. I think we're kinda stuck anyway.