I was a professional victim.

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I found comfort in that life, but no peace of mind.

Being a professional victim has kept me from doing all of the things that I really wanted to do with my life.

I can not allow my past to hold me back any longer. It was not my past that kept me where I was, nor was it my autism. It was a string of poor choices on my part and a lack of willingness to stop being a victim.

I have given myself permission to shed that role, because we all know I will never get that permission from my bloodline.

I probably should go to bed soon, but I felt the need to post this here anyway.

People can get attached to identities that they impose on themselves past the use-by date, and maintain them because they feel familiar (and they are). The only way to change that is to move out of your comfort zone. Sometimes this involves choosing to do the very opposite of what your "victim self" would typically do.

I would suggest perhaps that you read up on schemas and how to change them too, because that material has many insights which may give you some inspiration to reconfigure the ways you have related to your past in the past.

Recovery starts with awareness and then new decisions and then changes in behaviour. Maybe you are ready to make some new changes again, to keep moving forward.

There is no liberation in adopting the identity of victimhood, even when you are a victim.

People like Neslon Mandela, Nora Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., and Aung San Suu Kyi teach us to refuse to be victim at all cost. Even when you are breaking rocks on Robin Island.

A lot of identity politics these days does the opposite. it is all about resentment and bitterness. it is a competition of who is the most disadvantaged. This will eat you up inside.

What is worse is it often taught and passed on through the generations which keeps conflict alive.

Truth be told, you've been through a lot more than most people; considering that reality I think it's perfectly normal to have moments where you feel you are right back at the moment where you were a victim.

Feeling victimised has a place though, usually at the beginning of healing, but everyone moves at a different pace, and complications can delay the process. I think it takes a lot of courage to push your comfort zones and grow, but I think you have that in abundance .

Yes other people will have it worse than you or as I say it things can always get worse,[/i] but you know you will get through it, it's all relative

If this has anything to do with a thread that was active yesterday in which there was a disagreement about suffering and challenges, you've misunderstood some of the things that were said in that thread.

And acknowledging suffering is not the same making it a "competition" nor even the same as "dwelling on it."

Accusing people of being "victims" is the self righteous side of the coin of it being, on the contrary, healthy for people to own that they are having challenges.