I don't know how to deal with my mom

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she doesn't understand me. she keeps on walking up to my door and shouting "goodbye!" when she leaves or asks me if i want something to eat, freaking me out if i am reading or writing. this startles me every time she does it. i want her to leave me alone. i want her to go away. i have never lived alone. i am on disability and still living in the same apartment with my mom. i hate listening to her talk. she sounds like some kind of machine making constant noise. she talks on the phone all the time and she sounds so phony. i hate hearing her talk and laugh. i used to hate my mom but i don't think i really hate her anymore since i realised she is so unintelligent and unaware of how her behaviour has affected me throughout my life and still affects me. she helps in her own way but hurts in other ways. i care about her but try to avoid being around her if i can. i have been blowing up at her a lot more lately because i have been going through big changes in my life and do not feel as if i have any more room for her crap. she acts like she knows how sensitive i am, yet she keeps talking at me without even noticing if i am even listening or feeling well. my therapist thinks this situation is funny but it is very depressing and i want to get out of it, i just don't know how. i can barely function, so getting a job and moving out on my own is not an option. i would have done it a long time ago, but i need help with it. i guess i just really needed to get this out because every one around me seems to think she is so wonderful and i am always at fault here. i really just wish i could get away from my mom and i wish i could get some help for doing that. i am sick of being around her, she is very disturbing and draining!

Refocus your therapist onto your needs by asking him/her to recommend some interpersonal skills and techniques to reduce the stress between you and your mother.

I love my mum but I'm the same way with her a lot of the time. She says she is sensitive to my need to be alone and have quiet time, but she doesn't actually show it. She's one of those people who just can't leave a moment of silence in a conversation, unless of course she wants quiet time. I had a very rare argument with her recently because I finally snapped, I just wanted an hour to myself and she wanted to drag me off to do something with her without asking me. I ended up retracting most of what I said because she got upset and guilt-tripped her way out of it. She said "If that's how you feel then I must be really selfish", and inside I was like "well... yeah.", but of course in the end the tone of the argument changed and I was the selfish one . People say they want to hear about how I feel but when I tell them they get so upset at me. This makes it sound like I don't love my mum. I do, it's just difficult with her sometimes.

Anyway I hear you, especially the part about feeling like you don't have room to take your mom's usual 'crap'. When I'm stressed or tired all the little walls I've set up to hide my emotions tend to fall down, and I can't force myself through all the normal social conventions I've learned.