Lost mat and kleiged eyes .

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I will put this up as a new post - I could not get to a computer yesterday AS WELL AS Sunday , due to " the holiday that nobody celebrates anymore " (Columbus Day) being on Mon....But , then , just today , while out - I LOST MY YOGA/HOMELESS MAT ! !! !! !! !! !!
One MORE thing depleted , which I have to replace , spending money for it .
Look , I did have the bedazzled eyes again from the excessive direct light and reflections of in my room - I'm (Somewhat??) better now , but my eyes had a " too many flashbulbs " feeling earlier today when trying to look OR read , I think...this CAN'T be good for my eyesight ~ I'll call it/the cause of the effect " kleig lights " , those old-style?? movie/press event-filming super-big , bright , lights

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I did get new crutches (two , in fact , a bit much to carry just now but they offered me both and I'll take them back to the place and just use one at a time) today , and the fact that it rained to-day for the first time in many months here in S.F. made me think of what a problem I'd have if I was fully HL .
However , I think that the " lead " and the excessive light ~ the klieg lights , as I'll call it ~ ARE A PROBLEM !
To-day , even thinking in the morning (Raining , so overcast .) that the kliegs weren't such a problem ~ Then , after leaving I was in a well-lit Walgreen's - and , trying to look at the credit card-registering thingy , I had a hard time focusing , with lights/brightness in my eyes .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Severe diabetes often affects the eyes, it can even cause blindness in some cases. I wonder if the "klieg light" effect is actually an indication of eye damage due to diabetes.

...Could be , thank you . I don't think my diabetes is THAT severe , but:-(...........

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I just totally ran out of cash these last days (My $ comes in Tuesday) , I went out and begged/panhandled last night to try and get a little cash food (I do this more than I maybe let on here ) , partly too to get some air/not be stuck in an overheated , lead-ed , room...I ended uop - Having slept most of Sunday and having woke up about 6:30 PM - staying up all night and all morning rather than forcing myself to sleep but staying around the room a long time , finally getting going about 1:45 PM to go get the two small Meals On Wheels meals at the place's downstaris then went to thislab for a brief session , they'll close at 4:30 PM and besides I must go back to the place to do laundry (my underwear- )

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You're doing better. At least now you can do laundry.

Can't you open a window to let in some air?

...I should first mention that I got a replacement mat ~ about $25 plus tax more expenditure .
The klieged eyes happened again YESTERDAY , I really think it's a real problem ...
I have stuff to add regarding what happened to me last night then today...

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Last night I went back to the place and did what I said , then wet to bed after I'd dropped the underwear in the washer - I was , sort of , assuming they'd put it in the dryer later and then , later , take it out .
Assuming too much/dumping upon them on me ?
I was rather sleepy , having been up a long time/had little sleep by Mon. nite , and I decided I needed it ~ Having had no meal since the earlier Meals On Wheels I mentioned eating already , I went to bed , finally woke up maybe 2-3 AM??-ish , got myself dressed to go out and get the check (which comes in at maybe 12:45 A.M. on Tuesday) from the nearby ATM ~ When I got outside , I was feeling kind of woozy and starting to stumble - Maybe it was a touch of hunger , maybe it was some " wanting to get things done " too ~ I did wonder whether I should call the ER and go to the hospital , though .
Having got up , I decided I needed some immediate food , from the 24-hours coffee-donut place nearby , I got some food , kind of indulging myself after the long hunger - Then , some hours later , I got more junk-ish food at the 7-11 some blocks away , after that getting my earlier computer session done .
Then , I got the noon feed at St. Anthony's , after that I felt sleepy , I sort of wanted to sleep , but felt I should go to the clinic near me and see if there was , maybe , some diabetic damage to my eyes as was suggested above , but first wanted to lie down/rest , not quite sleep , on the sunny sidewalk outside of St. Anthony's across the street .
I did so , taking my backpack off (I've been " as-if-HL " carrying around my big pack most of the time .) me and the mat off of it and my sandals (Only pair of shoes .) off and lying down on the sunn-ed sidewalk against the parking lot's fence - I kind of didn't want to flat-out fall asleep , as I was afraid I'd wake up having to go to the bathroom then .
(Actually , this morning between the coming back from the ATM and getting the donut shop stuff , I had to pee - with my full clothes on AND my brace on my leg , which makes it difficult to go to the bathroom , even pee - It was somewhat difficult to do that , though I did it ~ This was earlier in the morning , before going to the 7-11 .)
I was planning to go to the clinic after some sidewalk rest . I was about to get up , anyway (After maybe some slight sleep) , when the police came along and rather picked on me , saying I wasn't allowed to sleep there , I was doing it slowly , they said " if you don't , we'll have to call an ambulance and bag and tag your stuff and you'll have to go to all the trouble of getting it back " , I expressed dislike! of them a little , they went away , my having shown I was " beginning to get up " , I did , I decided I wanted to come to this (different from the morning's) lab and express myself (I had planned , before , to go to a lab after going to the clinic .) , planning to go to the clinic too-morrow .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Okay , this morning I woke up , and despite having slept with underpants on , I had somewhat pooped in my pants during the night and enough to get on the sheet and the bed .
Dressing , I had that " having to go back to the bathroom again & again " syndrome re-asserting itself , it took a lot of time for me to get going ~ I don't know what I can do if that's always in my way !
All of this is made my worse by my merely being in a bum's SRO , witht he bathroom down the hall and it a lot of effort to go to it ~ Furthermore , my life so revolves around computer time for any attempted entertainment ~ I certainly have no TV or DVD , or CD music player , even a radio (I am trying to keep away from making " big purchases " as well .)

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!