Worried I have caused upset for my mum's friend

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Normally I don't do this, but the other day I said something that could cause upsetting consequences, and now I'm worrying about it.

My mum's got a friend who comes round a lot to see her, but lately my mum has been getting stressed out and grouches about her friend coming round (when she's not there obviously). Like if her friend phones up and I tell my mum later that her friend phoned whilst she wasn't in, my mum would get quite angry, and say ''oh God she is always ringing!!''

But anyway, the other day it was my mum's birthday and my cousin came, and he is friends with my mum's friend's son. But when my mum opened the card from her friend, without thinking I shouted out, ''see, she got you a lovely birthday card, and she doesn't know how mean you are about her!'' And I sort of forgot that my cousin was in the room. Now I am worried that my cousin might tell his friend (my mum's friend's son) what I said about her, and he might then tell his mum, and she will be very hurt.

Normally I am not this tactless, in fact I'm quite the opposite from that, but just occasionally I do get a bit overexcited and yell out something that I wished I hadn't. It's not that I'm unaware of how to say the right things at the right times. It's just that I sometimes forget who is in the room and who isn't, and at that time I forgot that my cousin was in the room (as we did have lots of other people in the room too, although my instincts would have kicked in quicker if my mum's friend had been in the room so I wouldn't have said it at all).

I'm hoping that my cousin will know better and not say to his friend anything, but what if he does? I don't want her to be upset, as she's a very nice person. She's just quite lonely and enjoys visiting us quite a lot.

I don't think there's a person on the planet who hasn't mistakenly blurted out something like this with the wrong person present, at one time or another.

I know it probably doesn't help you worry less to know that, but truly, everyone does this, it's an easy mistake to make, and you didn't intend any harm. It's an awful, awful feeling, I know, but try to go easy on yourself.

There's a chance your cousin might even think you were making a joke or just teasing your mum -- people sometimes tease others with things that aren't actually true, and even though you know that wasn't what this was, maybe your cousin might write this off as something like that.

Or maybe he didn't even notice or care at all; try to remember he might not be interested enough to even pass on what he heard -- or may not even have heard it!

Actually, what you said HAS made me worry less, and I no longer feel angry with myself for blurting that out about my mum's friend.

I don't think my cousin told his mate about what I said, because his mum still came to ours Friday evening, which was the day after my cousin spent the day with his mate. So hopefully, like you said, my cousin just forgot about what I said.

I'm glad you feel a bit better and that nothing seems to have come of it!