Accused of lying about, slandering my mom when I NEVER!

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Have you ever been accused of manipulating or lying when you are innocent of the crime?
I told my mom of things she really said about me and she says I'm lying and she never said those things and that it's so sad I'm lying and manipulating. She has a terrible memory (or maybe she does remember and is lying... I really have no clue) and says she doesn't remember saying that stuff. Actually, she says she definitely didn't say that stuff.
But I saddened her by bringing that stuff up and making her think I was manipulating and lying and so I feel guilty. Do I deserve to feel guilty? Discuss! I need some advice on how to feel. I feel so horrible, beyond rotten. Depressed. Guilty, though all I did was tell the truth.

Why do you continue living with and/or communicating with your parents ?

When my «folks» were so unreasonable as to create drama every time they opened their damn mouths, I realised it was time to boycott them out of my life, and I packed up and moved elsewhere, and lived as an orphan for nearly a full decade. Get rid of your phone-number (change your phone-number and do NOT give them your phone-number), take only your bare necessities and leave everything else behind (you can always replace everything easily anyway after you have built up your own resources), head to a different location to start your new life (and do NOT tell your parents where you're headed), and ABSOLUTELY NO MATTER WHAT do NOT contact them and do NOT give them ANY information on how to be able to reach/contact you (set a filter to block their e-mails from your e-mail or abandon any e-mail accounts that they have access to and start a completely new e-mail account altogether).

You «disappear» from them, and if they're the type to do stupid things like calling those corrupt cops just because they haven't heard from you, then leave a note that they are now dis-owned and you do not wish for them to interfere with your life-progress, and that any attempts to contact you will be met with a restraining order.

Well that's a little extreme.

I'll jsut not talk to them until they apologize. They'll keep calling here but I won't take their calls or call back. I'll just ignore her emails. And I won't go over there and if she comes here I guess I just won't answer the door. Not until she apologizes. I've actually thought of doing what you proposed (and going to Edmonton) but now I'm established where I am in Montreal and everything and if I absolutely had to move I'd wait until my two books get published, which will probably be very soon. I want to have that out of the way. I thought of moving from city to city, that would be fun, but I'd miss my friends here and they'd miss me, and I want to get a real job, not a s**t job, so I need to go back to college, and in Quebec, where it's free...

It's pretty common for people to have "convenient" memories where they claim to not recall mean or abusive things the have said or done. But your mom accusing you of lying and manipulating is a form of gaslighting, denying the truth and calling you the liar.

I agree an apology is in order. It seems like you are willing to forgive and hope it works out that way.

Meh, I'd just let it go. I've had similar arguments with my mom and what I've learned is somethings are better left in the past, instead of trying to bring it into the here or now to prove a point or whatever. I mean with things that happened years ago who knows, maybe you're mistaking or maybe she's mistaking or maybe you both don't remember it quite right.

I don't think you should feel guilty, you can't help how you feel...I have memories of my mom that still anger/upset me to this day, but what is it going to solve if I go tell her 'hey that one time years ago when you said this it was wrong....bla bla bla.' who knows if she'd even remember and she'd probably feel like I was being a jerk or whatever.

I wouldn't apologize to her, you are probably aren't wrong about whatever it is...but I just wouldn't bring it up further, but just my opinion since your mom sounds a bit like mine when it comes to bringing up things in the past she perhaps did wrong. Maybe she just doesn't see her self as someone who would do that 'now' so she doesn't like the thought maybe she was someone who would do that in the past....or something like that.

NT's have a habit of not accepting responsibility for their own actions. It's as if they fear being criticized. As if criticism is our way of insulting them. Embarrassment and, perhaps, a little ableism.

It all started when we were talking about microaggressions (which are harmless alone, but enough together form an aggression)... she said she agreed with me on that but then said was I sure this had happened to me? That's when I pointed out the little things she had said, and some of the things she said weren't little at all but were horrible and ableist and assuming autistics were all a certain way or assuming I was a certain way because I was on the autistic spectrum.