Why don't any of my threads get replied to any more?

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Joe90
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05 Feb 2017, 5:40 am

It's as though people see my username and think "uh, not Joe90 again". I created a thread in the social skills and making friends thread about 2 weeks ago and still no replies, and also one in the Haven (I think), and in the GAD my posts have been killing threads that were currently popular.

I didn't think group thinking was so common among Aspies.
And no, I'm not trying to guilt people into replying to my threads, in fact I actually feel guilty writing this thread, but it's a bit strange how my threads and posts have suddenly become invisible.


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MaxE
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05 Feb 2017, 6:28 am

Joe90 wrote:
It's as though people see my username and think "uh, not Joe90 again". I created a thread in the social skills and making friends thread about 2 weeks ago and still no replies, and also one in the Haven (I think), and in the GAD my posts have been killing threads that were currently popular.

I didn't think group thinking was so common among Aspies.
And no, I'm not trying to guilt people into replying to my threads, in fact I actually feel guilty writing this thread, but it's a bit strange how my threads and posts have suddenly become invisible.
I doubt anyone here is cross with you, how could they be? You seem such a sweet young lady (I mean that seriously).

It's my theory that people on this forum are probably more forthcoming than what one encounters on most forums. But very often, what they say is not necessarily an accurate reflection of how they feel, but it represents their best effort at verbalizing it. Very often they think what they've said is very clever and expect a flood of responses, but then nothing happens.

I have posted many things I thought to be frightfully clever, but I suspect nobody else thought so. However I understand that I am posting mostly for myself (hence my signature).

This is a wonderful forum for saying exactly what's on your mind, but possibly not the best for getting emotional support, as most of us are quite bad at doing so. This is a tragic paradox - many of us are deeply in need of being comforted, but few are any good at comforting.

I imagine you can see yourself being ostracized on this forum as you were most likely ostracized in school or possibly at work. In reality, that's highly unlikely. I think the only folks who have been ostracized here are those who have appeared to be "asking for it".

There's also the possibility that the forum is simply less active than it was a couple of years ago. Why, I don't know. I wish the admins could publish some sort of statistics such as number of people logging in per week or number of people posting to forums per week, to determine once and for all whether there's any truth to this.

What I have seen is that some people will post enthusiastically for a while, but then disappear. I suspect most of these did not get what they had hoped for from their experience here. Too bad. It's a sad truth that many here are desperately seeking something they may very well never find anywhere.

[Edit] The other area I have a problem with is giving advice. People post asking for advice, but for various reasons it is very difficult to give advice the OP can really use. One of the biggest reasons is that the OP hasn't really given enough information to work with (although they probably imagine the reader gets the full picture, due to a tendency to think that others can read our minds). Instead, they mostly get opinions but not what I would call truly useful advice. Many times I have felt the urge to give somebody advice, but despaired of doing so in any sort of useful way.


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Last edited by MaxE on 05 Feb 2017, 11:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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05 Feb 2017, 8:44 am

You don't respond when I respond to you.

It's almost like you think: oh no, not Kraftie again!

Seriously: I think people are preoccupied with either Trump or themselves. It's not you.



androbot01
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05 Feb 2017, 9:28 am

WP seems different since Trump won. People still respond to my posts, but the tenor is not the same. It feels like a lot of people have left and been replaced by a younger group that I have trouble relating to.



Joe90
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05 Feb 2017, 10:17 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
You don't respond when I respond to you.

It's almost like you think: oh no, not Kraftie again!

Seriously: I think people are preoccupied with either Trump or themselves. It's not you.


Yes, I am sick of hearing about Trump here.
When I make a thread I read every reply, including KraftieKorties. :)
There's only one member here I get fed up with seeing everywhere, but he never posts in any threads, just creates new threads about his tragic life. I think you all know who I'm talking about.


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MaxE
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05 Feb 2017, 12:04 pm

Joe90 wrote:
...Yes, I am sick of hearing about Trump here...
Perhaps the solution might be a moratorium on posts about Trump.
Joe90 wrote:
...There's only one member here I get fed up with seeing everywhere, but he never posts in any threads, just creates new threads about his tragic life. I think you all know who I'm talking about.
In all honesty, I don't know who you're talking about. I suppose I could guess. Please don't misinterpret that reaction on my part. I believe it's an example of how we often believe people know more than they do concerning our personal thoughts.


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05 Feb 2017, 3:13 pm

You don't respond to me either, so I skip your posts usually. You wouldn't take in what I said anyway, you haven't before. Not having a go, just saying.


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Shahunshah
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05 Feb 2017, 3:21 pm

androbot01 wrote:
WP seems different since Trump won. People still respond to my posts, but the tenor is not the same. It feels like a lot of people have left and been replaced by a younger group that I have trouble relating to.
From what I hear much of the older people such as Redrobin and Auntblubby are still here.



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05 Feb 2017, 3:31 pm

Joe90 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
You don't respond when I respond to you.

It's almost like you think: oh no, not Kraftie again!

Seriously: I think people are preoccupied with either Trump or themselves. It's not you.


Yes, I am sick of hearing about Trump here.
When I make a thread I read every reply, including KraftieKorties. :)
There's only one member here I get fed up with seeing everywhere, but he never posts in any threads, just creates new threads about his tragic life. I think you all know who I'm talking about.


I came very close to ending my life after Trump was elected. I have been in a bad place ever since. I've learned my advice may not be helpful or all that insightful. I can only speak for myself, but I doubt people are avoiding you. While I may not always have something to offer in aid for your problems, I do care about what you have to say.


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blackicmenace
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05 Feb 2017, 3:45 pm

smudge wrote:
You don't respond to me either, so I skip your posts usually. You wouldn't take in what I said anyway, you haven't before. Not having a go, just saying.


Do you expect the op to respond to every post? Perhaps they read what you say and agree or disagree, but don't feel the need to comment. I understand where you are coming from, we all want to be acknowledged and appreciated, but perhaps you are more than you know.


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Jacoby
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05 Feb 2017, 3:53 pm

Replied to one of your posts right before this one, I don't think you've been ostracized or have done anything wrong on your part. It's hard for me to give advice since I'm stuck down in the hole too, I reply to posts when I have something to say but sometimes I don't or someone else had said it already or if it would be too negative or depressing on my part to be appropriate.

FWIW I believe I probably get blamed for the Trumpocalypse that has taken over the forum more than anyone(my perception, maybe not reality) but I've been trying to get mods to limit the amount of Trump threads being created since going back to early summer because I was worried about the potential chilling effect on the forum created by the divisiveness & vitriol emanating from so much of the active discussions. It makes sense that people want to talk about it but there isn't a lot of value in mudslinging, it is supposed to be an autism support forum and probably should be more welcoming. There's a reason why most people don't like discussing religion or politics with strangers...



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05 Feb 2017, 3:59 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
smudge wrote:
You don't respond to me either, so I skip your posts usually. You wouldn't take in what I said anyway, you haven't before. Not having a go, just saying.


Do you expect the op to respond to every post? Perhaps they read what you say and agree or disagree, but don't feel the need to comment. I understand where you are coming from, we all want to be acknowledged and appreciated, but perhaps you are more than you know.


Look, she wanted to know and I told her why. I didn't have to do this. Don't put words in my mouth, it is not appreciated.


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androbot01
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05 Feb 2017, 4:04 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
I came very close to ending my life after Trump was elected. I have been in a bad place ever since.

I am sinking into this hole too. I'm not sure I can cope with a world where Donald Trump is president of the United States. My faith in humanity has taken a blow and also my perception of the U.S. as a leader in the world. I'm not sure which country will fill the breach, probably not Canada. Maybe Britain.



kraftiekortie
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05 Feb 2017, 4:14 pm

People have to be the leaders of themselves.

I'm not a Trump admirer, and he certainly sinks the US's prestige in the world---but I wouldn't rely on a country being my "leader."



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05 Feb 2017, 4:16 pm

Despite all the arguments, I do hope people are able to obtain solace from this Site.



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05 Feb 2017, 4:29 pm

I've posted stuff before and had nobody reply. I don't take it personally. People use this site whenever they use this site- and some people sometimes only use it for a couple minutes at a time. They just post a new topic or reply to an amusing one, and that is the end of their interaction on here until the next time they're here. What that means is that not all posts get seen by all or even most of the site users, and the ones who do see your/my post might just not want to venture an opinion. Maybe they feel they have nothing constructive to contribute, maybe it's outside their area of expertise, maybe the tone or subject of the post was such that they already know they'd be coming from a completely different angle that you wouldn't understand and they just don't want to fight. I've backed away from replying for all those reasons and more. I'm sure nobody meant to slight you.