Feeling lonely

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I feel lonely most of the time. I have few friends, and I don't see them often enough.
What can I do to improve my social life?

Except for the lucky ones who beat the syndrome and find a niche at school, or hold down a job or even get married, you've pretty much described the universal AS experience.

It sucks.

At least you're not the only one who has to deal with it.

Eight years ago, when the first Austin Powers movie came out, I decided that I wasn't going to be lonely, because I'm a 1967-type Mod. I tried to be friends with everybody at my work and it back-fired and that's how I got the Nic-name that I use on this site. I'm not working there, anymore and I decided that if people want to be friends with me, than they can come to me.

I'm sorry but I don't have any advice for you- but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I feel lucky everyday that I met Dunc when I did, other than him I have no offline friends. But I do really appreciate the online friends I have

Mel

CockneyRebel, I've had that sort of thing backfire too.

BTW, your avatar looks a lot like the logo of 'Microsoft Bob', a graphical interface about 10 years ago that was supposed to run on top of Windows and be more 'user-friendly'. It disappeared very fast.

Of course he also looks like Austin Powers as his glasses have a kind of NHS frames.

I'm in a couple of Amdram societies which has helped me a great deal socially (plus I like poncing about on stage too ) - even if you're not into the performing thing, Amdram societies are always looking for people backstage, on sound/lights or just making tea - plus, most of them are as weird as us lot, so you might feel right at home Just a suggestion.....

the Internet is a blessing, its a way to reach out and find your hidden niche, use the chats to error and hit till you find your niche, it hurts much of the time to error and see the ridicule but it helps tons to see what works, the sooner you find what works the better for you and your life, its a jumping stone, you can be anonymous and find your niche then go back, its all trail and error and learning, when i started before the Internet,- it took me decades to find one friend or mate, with the Internet and given time i learned in a few short months to have at least 4 lady's per month wanting my attentions and to date, i cant say what worked for me will work for you, because its all trial and error, i got many wanting me before i found my mate, the thing is i found my mate not in the way i am speaking but with the use of this forum, each has their own paths to take, it takes trial and error to find your own, even if it hurts now and then. with my findings i had many girls after me in the end but it all felt fake, but with the help of this forum i found a girl who was most like my self, its been better for me in my life then any other relationship i have found, but i may have been just lucky, give it time, work with it, find your own niche and make it work, but look for better for what match's with who you are deep in side.

Tim

The Internet is a good equalizer for us but I found the personals even there don't work for me - as I wrote elsewhere in the forum, it should have been as easy as fishing in a barrel but it isn't. Did meet my last two girlfriends online but it was through following my interests. Trouble is those opportunities are few and far between.

I am soo lonely too I wish i had a girl I wish ppl would stop pickin on me and i wish i wasnt fat. but u know wat Im never gonna give up

That's the attitude! Keep it up!

i feel the same way as you. ive taken to walking round the town centre just to pass time. no one ever speaks to me though as they're all too busy buying stuff. so i buy stuff also and now i'm so happy

I know how you feel. I wish I had more friends, or at least closer ones.

I want to go to parties and stuff an be up with the play, I guess. Joining a club is a good idea, although it is hard to find things that appeal.

You could always try something completley new, if you don't like it, then try something else.

I completely understand where you're coming from. Some nights I feel like there's something wrong with me because I'm not out visiting people and partying and stuff.

But when I have nothing to do, I learn to enjoy my alone time. I'll spend time with my family. Or pick up my guitar and practice or something. And if I do have something to do, then I'll make sure it's the most fun I can have. But that limit is pretty hard to break, right?

If you feel like you're alone, I hate to say that sitting around waiting for someone to call you won't do you very good. Go out and join some clubs or something, or interest groups and stuff! You'll meet people with similar interests who you can make plans with if all goes well. As for the friends you already have, why don't you see them enough? Go make plans for this weekend. You can do it!

Take some heart from the fact so many of us here understand exactly what you mean. Its pretty hard being lonely . I feel it most when there is something on that I would really like to go to but don't feel safe or confident enough to do alone so I just miss out. I have tried to find things which fill my time and leave me feeling I have achieved something with each day. I am doing Open Uni courses, learning to play guitar (which is v. time consuming because my fine motor skills scarcely exist!) and read loads of books and newspapers. It isn't much substitute for real people and friends but it is a distraction.

One thing I did do was get involved in the local Scout Group as a Leader. I find children easier to relate to than people my own age but even when I struggle they don't question it. It also fulfills my need to be very organised and fill in lots of forms! There is plenty of structure and I love planning and preparing activities for the kids. It hasn't made me any close friends but I do speak to different people about various things and the children are always nice to be around. It is worth carrying on trying different things until you find something you like. If you go somewhere and hate it there is no need to go again. I would also say that it is best to go places with the focus being on enjoying yourself and learning stuff rather than making friends. That may happen as a by-product but you can still have a nice time even if it doesn't.