I sometimes wonder...

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My brother is at the age he has young adult friend and friend who are still in their teens. LOl and I usually get on well with most his friend and acquaintances I'v met. But at the same time I wonder if they judge me for being 27 and not having worked a job and being on disability. I mean I don't tell everyone all that, but I am sure over time they come to wonder about me not working and this or that. I mean I am working at getting a job through vocational rehabilitation, but still what does an 27 year old sister of your friend who hasn't really worked a job for a consistent amount of time look like to a 17-22 year old?

I mean as I said I tend to get along well with my brothers friends/aquantinces he invites over...but at the same time I always feel like the old weirdo since I'm older than them all. I suppose my boyfriend might feel that even more since hes even a few years older than me. But then on the bright side I get the opportunity to talk to younger, bright people that are pretty smart and I can see potential for good things in them. I mean I see posts and such complaining about millennial and younger generation people but a lot of them really do have good head on their shoulders and want to do something with their lives.

Also sometimes seems like stigma with hanging out with younger people, and I mean sure I have been around younger people doing things they are underage for...but what am I going to do. i mean I started cigarettes underage and whatever so I just try to encourage staying safe. I just hate some of the laws because it gets in the way of people keeping things under control. I mean I think the lower drinking ages in europe is a good thing because it allows for people to legally experience it a bit younger with supervision from older relatives and community members so if they overdo it they can be helped. Also it makes it less of a tempting 'taboo' to do just to go against the rules. But yeah if I see younger people drinking i don't want to get them in trouble but I will try and encourage safety and caution with it. iDK why I am even posting this sort of thing, just both of these were on my mind.

when i was 20, i phoned someone about a room for rent. she told me that she was 21 and wanted someone "closer to my age".

then i went to live with a 61 year old.

likewise, someone told me to hang around someone "closer to your age". (fine). however, more than one person older than him invited me to hang out.
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my sister used to take me out, with her friends. she is 4 years older. and sometimes i felt guilty. and sometimes her friends sounded condescending. but, of course, maybe they felt entitled to act that way b/c they were older.

likewise, when i hung out with someone younger than me, they acted like they were cool and i was not. granted, that was correct. but that did not justify their actions or statements.

quite frankly, i am just as receptive to interacting with someone of any age. as long as within the law. (fine).

but a lot of the time, they are not receptive. or they act like they are receptive, but they treat me like i am morally inferior to them.

and now that i am 34, i ain't got nobody to hang out with. whenever i interacted with someone, i felt like i was a burden to them. and/or. i felt like. they did not accept/respect me the way they expected me to passive aggressively tolerate them.

but whatever.

older ones acted wiser than me. and condescending.

younger ones acted like they were more cool. and energetic. and modern.

anyways maybe the real problem was that i am not normal enough.

Society in general views people on disability with contempt unless they are in a wheelchair. Does that mean everyone views you in that way? No, but it sure happens quite often.

You're saying that because can right away tell that the person in the wheelchair can't walk so he or she is disabled. But when people see us. They can't look at us and be like man that person has autism. Because autism is a mental disability and physical. They just look at us and think we're everyday normal non disabled people until they talk to us.

I'm 25; I have friends my age, 35 year old friends, 60 year old friends, 11 year old friends. It is what it is; to some degree, you can't choose the people who come into your life. You just connect with them.