Board index › Coping in life › The Haven

Trying To Make Things Right

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,915
Location: California,USA

20 Apr 2017, 2:59 pm

If you had a very big misunderstanding with someone in the past & it made you very angry & hurt, & you still can't forget it, & that same person still misunderstand & make you feel VERY BADLY. Do you tell her so you can move on?



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

20 Apr 2017, 7:03 pm

Telling her she misunderstood and you were angry & hurt and that you believe she still misunderstands and that you are still affected is not likely to make life any better for either of you. But maybe if you just tell her you believe there had been a misunderstanding you would now like to talk about, maybe she would be willing to have that conversation.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


DataB4
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,744
Location: U.S.

23 Apr 2017, 9:57 am

What would you like to have happen if you talk to the person?



886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,664
Location: SLC, Utah

23 Apr 2017, 8:35 pm

You can't make things right with someone if they aren't willing, ready, and open to understanding what it is that's making you feel the way you do. I've tried real hard to make things right with a friend, but they just can't wrap their head around why I feel the way I do about what happened. As a result, we keep misunderstanding each other and hurting each other. It hurts to be wronged, especially when in your mind you could easily make everything okay, but it doesn't work unless both people are willing. Sometimes, you just have to let go.


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,915
Location: California,USA

23 Apr 2017, 9:03 pm

886 wrote:
You can't make things right with someone if they aren't willing, ready, and open to understanding what it is that's making you feel the way you do. I've tried real hard to make things right with a friend, but they just can't wrap their head around why I feel the way I do about what happened. As a result, we keep misunderstanding each other and hurting each other. It hurts to be wronged, especially when in your mind you could easily make everything okay, but it doesn't work unless both people are willing. Sometimes, you just have to let go.


I didn't expect this person to understand everything. And whatever I do, our relationship is already ruined.


I had a friend like yours, my friendship with her ended.



886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,664
Location: SLC, Utah

23 Apr 2017, 9:37 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
886 wrote:
You can't make things right with someone if they aren't willing, ready, and open to understanding what it is that's making you feel the way you do. I've tried real hard to make things right with a friend, but they just can't wrap their head around why I feel the way I do about what happened. As a result, we keep misunderstanding each other and hurting each other. It hurts to be wronged, especially when in your mind you could easily make everything okay, but it doesn't work unless both people are willing. Sometimes, you just have to let go.


I didn't expect this person to understand everything. And whatever I do, our relationship is already ruined.


I had a friend like yours, my friendship with her ended.

Yeah, it's just like that.. everything that happened between us was a big misunderstanding that could've been fixed had we just talked about it. But we didn't. We waited too long, and every time we try, she isn't ready or she doesn't have the words, so we fight and take things personally. We will never trust or be comfortable around each other again, even if we fixed the problems, that's the hard part. That's why I say it's just best to move on.. it sucks, a lot, especially because you really feel if they just talked and listened and understood, there'd be no problems..


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,915
Location: California,USA

24 Apr 2017, 12:08 am

886 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
886 wrote:
You can't make things right with someone if they aren't willing, ready, and open to understanding what it is that's making you feel the way you do. I've tried real hard to make things right with a friend, but they just can't wrap their head around why I feel the way I do about what happened. As a result, we keep misunderstanding each other and hurting each other. It hurts to be wronged, especially when in your mind you could easily make everything okay, but it doesn't work unless both people are willing. Sometimes, you just have to let go.


I didn't expect this person to understand everything. And whatever I do, our relationship is already ruined.


I had a friend like yours, my friendship with her ended.

Yeah, it's just like that.. everything that happened between us was a big misunderstanding that could've been fixed had we just talked about it. But we didn't. We waited too long, and every time we try, she isn't ready or she doesn't have the words, so we fight and take things personally. We will never trust or be comfortable around each other again, even if we fixed the problems, that's the hard part. That's why I say it's just best to move on.. it sucks, a lot, especially because you really feel if they just talked and listened and understood, there'd be no problems..


I wish I can stop talking to this person, this person is my sister.