me 'ol man

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I adore my husband but every morning before leaving for work, he will say, "please pray for me because of deer, because of difficult people at my workplace, etc..." I always do but since he's been asking this, I feel like I'm developing an anxiety disorder. Lately, I've been doing everything possible to avoid him because of how I start to feel upon just mere sight of him and his worried face. I feel young and alive when I'm not around him but when I'm with him, I start to fear old age and death. I'm very depressed around him and have been playing the lottery a lot hoping for a win so he can leave his job. He could leave the job because I work as well but he won't until our son finishes college in anywhere between 4 to 6 years. It's not like he's digging ditches in the hot sun. He's a software developer. He is paid well but is constantly complaining about other people but avoids some very necessary confrontations. There's ways to get your gripes out without fighting. He tends to focus on the negative in everything - even in nature. If you say, "what a beautiful landscape, he might say, "But there's earthquakes here!!" When a matter really requires focus, it is invisible to him. This seems to be an aspie thing. Making superficial things a big ordeal and losing sight of what really matters. I'v never met the people he works with but I'd like to strangle almost all of them - just based upon what he says about them. He's always afraid one person (somebody that never works) will turn the entire building against him. Why must "everybody" like you?? What's the difference as long as "you" do "your" job.? Any feedback?

It would be much better for him (and for you) if he would be able to see the positive in things--like the beauty of Nature.

If I were you, I wouldn't want to be around a sourpuss, either.

What would happen if you answered his prayer request a little bit differently one day?

Like, for example:

"We spend so much time asking God for things. How about taking this one day to thank Him? You're asking me to pray for you, which is always a good thing, and I will (because I love you) ... just know that today, I'm going to thank God for everything that is going good in your life."

Balance is a good thing.

Here's how I pray sometimes:

"Dear God,

I would like to pray to thank you ...
for my job, and (ask) for help on the job
(thank you) for my friends, and (ask) for help with friends
(thank you) for my artwork, and (ask) for help with my artwork
etc."

My words are a little different, and you can of course make up your own words,
I think you get the idea.

Saying a prayer that God will bless you, too ...

Who is the Aspie? You? Your old man? Your son? All three?

Being around someone who complains a lot and has a lot of anxiety is an energy drain. Maybe you could explain how these prayer requests make you feel, or ask him to lighten up. I don't know how that would go over, maybe helpful and maybe make things worse.

All I can definitively offer you is that it's a drag to be around someone like that.

Yar. I'm not Christian but I always love the prayer of St Francis of Assisi for this. It's a radical change in perspective that can make all the difference, which may or may not have been his point. Instead of feeling resentful no one understands you, pray instead to understand others fully. Instead of sadness that no one loves you, instead pray that you are able to love with your whole heart, etc.
I know many autistics just avoid things because they may not understand what can be done about it. Maybe if his job is a major source of stress, he needs help with cutting right through this circumspect BS and sitting down to make a plan about how he can change his job while still supporting his son (if that was the reason he has to wait until the son finishes college?) Software development jobs may be one in which it is possible to find another, or a transfer.
I know someone like this, and one day ran a bit of an experiment - I would not engage in any negative focus in conversation. Whenever they started their relentless whinge, I would flip the conversation over into something positive about it, or change the subject to something positive. Eventually this brought their attention to the fact they are always whinging about very petty things (I'm by no means endorsing just trivializing things if someone is legitimately in distress, this is just for the petty constant negative whingers among us) and they can address their on behaviour from there. Maybe he doesn't even realize he is always negative, and it's a bore? Have you addressed it with him?