Being the weird single one

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I always feel like my married friends forget about me. My single friends live scattered around the uk so I only meet up with them once in a while due to logistics, but my married friends live close by, but never remember me, never invite me any where.

if your're single you might as well be dead.

That's not nice. I think they are being inconsiderate. Although I suppose it's possible when people are in a relationship they become consumed by romantic bliss and don't spend time with others much anymore.

Well, that's a sweet theory, but they spend time with their other married friends. They don't understand single people and don't seem to know how to treat us. I had one friend tell me that someone confideded in her that she wasn't sure if she should invite a single friend of ours round if there were going to be couples there. My friend was like, what. She's a person like any one else, why wouldn't you invite her?

They don't understand us. They found a partner easily and they don't understand why we have chosen to be single. They think that because they found someone and made it happen that people like me must have chosen to be single, even though I've tried and tried to meet someone and it's just never worked out for me.

To them something is a bit off about single people. They can't understand our lifestyle. If we have chosen to be single we must be sexless weirdos and that kind of freaks them out. If they can see that our lack of social skills is an obvious hinderance, then I bet you that the obvious lack of social skills bothers them and freaks them out.

Weird thing is I get on well with these people one on one. They just never invite me anywhere. I have one friend who only invites me over if she's invited other single people. of whom she only knows two, so it's always me and these 2 guys (who have no interest in me just in case you're wondering).

Sigh

I can't understand their behaviour. It's strange. I understand why it upsets you. A friend is a friend, single or not. I wonder if they are somehow scared they'll make you feel bad, by being all in couples, and you single. If so, it would seem they're jumping the gun and making assumptions about what's best for you.

Kind of off topic but have you ever fancied a man in your workplace? Sometimes people get together through work.

Being in a relationship, a lot their discussions are probably about their relationship. i.e.- 'you'll never guess what my S.O. did yesterday..." or "My S.O. and I are planning on doing...", etc. If you're not in a relationship you can't contribute your S.O. stories to the discussion, and so you're not contributing to the group, at least not the contributions they're looking for at least. It's cold and heartless, but that's human groups.

This happens, when people get in relationships and more so when married they only hanged out with couples. Guess it's to reduce cheating or one of the spouses from becoming a 3rd wheel.

yes, but thats a potential minefield. If he does not like me back and I make a move its going to be pretty awkward bearing in mind we're contractually obliged to sit in the same room every day.

Do you at least talk to him sometimes, not just about work? If you do that, you don't have to tell him you fancy him, or flirt. I suspect being a man he would make the first move in that kind of situation if he likes you. I know I would anyway. Though I wouldn't always find it easy to show any romantic interest in a woman if she isn't available to talk to much.

Meh... they will get bored of each other and the lame "couples" gatherings and come back around eventually. Can't stand when people make their relationship their entire identity.

I've been married for too long.

I wouldn't mind being the "weird single one" at this point.

I would have freedom---but I might feel lonely sometimes.

I'm thinking that I prefer the freedom, and am willing to suffer the loneliness. I can always assuage the loneliness with a good book--like that book on Historical Arthurian England which is right before me on a bookshelf.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 30 May 2017, 10:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

^yup. Being single means FREEDOM, and not having someone constantly nag you. It's annoying sharing a room and having someone constantly stuck up your ass (not literally).

Can't wait till I have my own place and room where no one will move my stuff around because it's "unorganized" even though I had my stuff where it was for a reason

It's the freedom of not having to make your bed for somebody who's really into nice-looking beds LOL.

To me, a good bed is merely a comfy mattress with a sheet and light comforter. Not all this bed-skirt, duvet kind of stuff.

I had two neighbours once who were in a relationship yet both had their own apartments. That would be pretty cool, huh?

That would be my ideal situation, actually.

According to my wife, I'm a slob; according to a slob, though, I'd be a neatnik

Haha. So your wife is a little high maintenance.

I will never cohabitate again. Only living with someone now due to financial needs. Once I finish school and get a better job, I'm gone!