how to recover my curiosity?

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I used to be a very curious and kind of smart person, but I've become so depressed and self-centered (focusing specially around my problems), also I think much about other people and this is a cycle, only getting worse and worse. I miss being who I used to be. I was very isolated from everyone, but at least I was happy with myself. Now I'm still alone, but I'm conscious about others and this is even sadder.

Research what you enjoy researching, for starters.

that's my main problem, i don't feel i like anything??? there is a few things i have some sort of interest but i can't focus on it without becoming too nervous

I don't know if it's the same for you, but for me intense self-obsession (around the same handful of problems, on repeat, usually) is one of my indicators that I am stagnating. There is nothing for my mind to work on, nothing in my life to think about, so the mind turns against me and cannibalizes itself.
I believe that many autistics have active minds. Perhaps as a way of handling our sensory and social processing issues. Like an active animal, if it doesn't have enough to occupy it, it's going to start acting out.
Maybe your life is just too small for you? Curiosity can be a deliberate act, not necessarily an inherent trait. You can choose to be curious, inquisitive, engaged. Pick a topic and get going!

What REALLY interests you?

in current moment the thing that most interest me is myself??? i'm self-obsessed!! i only talk about me, i'm all time thinking about myself like trying to remember everything i ever did and creating narratives for myself and self-analyzing etc

i can't focus on anything outsde

I guess you could write an autobiographical sort of work.

It really is good if you are able to "get outside" yourself.

I know you live in Brazil, but I've forgotten where. I think you mentioned you were like 50 miles from Rio.

I live in São João del Rei, it's on a state called Minas Gerais. Sort of near Rio de Janeiro and São Paulo.

I'll have to read up on it.

Does it ever get cold in your winter (July-August?)

I know Belo Horizonte can get pretty cold, sometimes down to 5 Celsius.

I just saw some pictures of your town. Has nice, old architecture. I like the Saint Francis of Assisi cathedral.

Why exactly is this quest to understand yourself a bad thing? Perhaps once you have a better understanding of yourself, you will be able to relate to others in a more satisfying way. Just keep in mind the way you come to see yourself and the world is not universally shared so keep an open mind, but your curiosity is human nature.

It gets pretty cold for Brazilian standards. I like the cold.

I live in the heart of the old town – I really like my street, although I'm having issues with my house recently :/ My favorite church is the Carmo, specially the view with the street



Luckily, it's the view I have whenever I'm out my house

I think it's bad when it's the only thing I care for, and I think too much but don't take much action in self-improvment or anything.

Who are your heroes? What do you stand for? What should tomorrow bring?

That could be a place to start.

I have no heroes, I think everyone is flawed and I don't like the concept of heroes at all. I don't think I stand for anything, I used to be strongly against inequality but I got a bit tired of it, like the political activity and discussion, mostly because of other's people difficult in create dialogue and mutual understanding.

I feel bored and hopeless a lot of time.

Even if you can't create "dialogue," you shouldn't deny or lose your core beliefs. They are good beliefs. Don't deny yourself the right to an opinion because others don't agree with you.

That is a beautiful view.

I can understand why you would have issues with your house. It might be quite old, and in need of fixing.

I agree that it is bad to be self-absorbed. But don't beat yourself up over that. It's not like you're a criminal or something. You're a good human being who is evolving, and who makes mistakes, and who corrects that mistakes.

Just try to keep up with current events. That'll get you out of your shell.