Feeling inadequate

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I sometimes feel like I have trouble functioning.There are a lot of tasks that I struggle with that are just very simple and obvious to most people. It's like I know how to do a lot of these tasks, because I would do them before just fine, but my brain just shuts down.

I know some people have this problem once in a while, but it seems like I have this problem all the time. Not only does it make me feel bad about myself, but it also causes other people to treat me differently. I feel like some people treat me more like a child than an adult. I think some of the people that do this mean well, but it makes me feel alienated. I think this is one of the reasons why I get targeted a lot.

It also makes me think that it's part of what's keeping me from having relationships because they might not see me as an equal. Guys might see me as a child instead of a woman.

I'm hoping to become a phlebotomist too and it makes me think that I'm going to have trouble interacting with the patients, or that I will shut down and not be able to do the job right.

It was really bad today because i had trouble sleeping the night before. It just makes me feel so frustrated with myself.

What sort of tasks are you talking about?

I don't think you're "inadequate" at all.

I can't do some things, either. And I'm married.

They are things like parking my car crooked, struggling to crack egg shells without getting my hands dirty or swiping my credit card too slow for it to process.

I also sometimes have trouble understanding what people are telling me and how to respond to what they are saying. Just tonight I was trying to get my phone number transferred and I couldn't understand what the person was explaining to me.

As long as you're not more than 18 inches from the curb, it doesn't matter how you park your car. I do that sometimes, too. Just get back in the car and straighten it.

As long as you don't lose the egg, it's okay. Just wash you hands in the sink.

Yeah...I know what you mean. I'm not good at following instructions on the phone, either.

You're a viable and pretty person. I hope you find a nice guy soon. Some guys do find little quirks cute.

I think, sometimes, people do klutzy things because they lack confidence.

according to other postings, a lot of autistics claim to be bad at driving. yes that includes myself.

nobody can do everything perfectly. nobody can do everything well.

the solar system contains so many different activities that it is not possible for one person to master them all.

however what if one person did master them all, then what?

what's so great about that?

whooptie do.

yeah i feel inadequate too. the thing about driving though, is that it ain't no random skill. precious lil 'people" called me an "idiot" and et cetera. when i was driving badly. but if i were to have been doing math badly, precious lil "people" would not have called me so many names. it's like they assume someone is bad at driving b/c of a character flaw.

likewise i am bad at emotional regulation and social interaction. precious lil "people" label that as a character flaw. instead of just a job skill.

but whatever.

at this point, i ain't got no precious lil "friends". the ones that i did have valued me less than their dogs. and et cetera. but whatever.

cost benefit analysis

maybe they are not worth the time and energy it takes to interact with them.

I've met 22 different guys and have never even kissed or cuddled with anyone. I think I'm so awkward and have so much trouble connecting that It just turns guys off.
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22? maybe someone out there is your match, but you just have not met your match yet.

you might not have done anything wrong. sometimes two parties just do not interact well together, through no fault of either one.

likewise it could've been the other party's fault.

in any event though, 22, to me, sounds like a lot. but, of course, the solar system contains a lot more than 22.

if you find that the energy is worth the emotional turmoil, keep looking for the 23rd and 24th.

otherwise, put less energy in looking for the 23rd and put more energy on other activities.



yeah anyways i am 34 years old.

when i was 18, a 17 year old in high school wanted to date me. but that was just months before i left for college.

with the exception of assorted sexual harrassment, comments about my breasts, and catcalls, nobody since then has expressed a desire to date me.

on the other hand whatever.

half of marriages end in divorce.

it is not wrong to be different.

but being different takes so much energy to deal with.

being different is not worth the energy.

being different is inconvenient.

being different is not inherently bad or morally wrong.

and yes i say that as a trans autistic.

I still want to try, but I know I'm going to have to do something different.

I can so relate to not being good at stuff and then feeling inadaquate.