I am at a loss

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Dear all,

First of all this will be my first post, I have stumbled on this forum while struggling with persistent loneliness that I am finding impossible to control. I would appreciate some feedback from others in similar situations. Loneliness has been a constant companion in my life. I laugh when I read articles which try to portray aspergers sufferers as having no desire for human companionship. I can't speak for all - it may be true for some bit it has certainly not been true for me. It can feel like a curse having an acute desire for human interaction, togetherness but constantly struggling to make it happen. Having always felt different and struggled with making meaning full connections I have realized that most probably I will spend life alone ( was married that did not work out thanks to the condition). I consider myself to be full of empathy and would do absolutely anything to see others smile, even to the determinant of my own happiness (has happened multiple times). Unfortunately I always get treated like a disposable piece of furniture to be used when one is down and dump the instant they are better. I try to ignore it and the fact that people keep saying life will improve (I know it will not - they cycle has repeated so much times that I have lost hope), please if anyone has a shed of advice how to fill the void or not feel so worthless I would greatly appreciate .

I have found that the best thing you can do is to fully develop a special interest and do what you can to help others enjoy that interest. For instance, I was really into model rockets at one time. I'd run contests at the local rocket club that kids could enjoy. I also flew boost gliders.

Thats a good idea. Have a special interest and if you can get others involved. I gave up relationships too but Im happier now because of it and more at peace. More time for me.

I sometimes still get lonely but to pass the time I go on the internet. I also walk every day and sometimes go to the mall which gets me around people but I dont have to interact with them.

So yeah try to find ways to pass the time that dont involve other people. Maybe find activities where you get around other people but dont have to interact with them.

If you've given up on relationships you may just have to make peace with being lonely.

There may be Aspie friendly volunteer opportunities. Is there a community garden? These days a strong back is a welcome asset.

Thanks for the feedback but right now I can't really face people. Was seriously hurt by someone I really cared about and took care of, now they coldly told me they no longer need my presence. I am seriously suicidal and trying to overcome the disillusionment in life since this happens constantly due to my overly caring nature (who ever said aspies lack empathy does not know what they are talking about unfortunately )

If you can't face people right now, then how do you intend not to be lonely? Would online interactions suffice? If so, this might be a good way. Wrong Planet definitely has its crap periods, but is ok much of the time.
I don't know much about human interactions, being the kind of autistic that doesn't need them, but I would also add that your post reads like you are wasting your caring nature on people who are not suitable. A caring person needs to be interacting with other caring people in my understanding - people who would never use you and drop you for their own gratification. Perhaps your loneliness is not your fault alone, or the fault of your autism, but also due to the fact that you have been wasting your energy on a***holes? Finding the right people who will treat you well may be in order.

I get the feeling you're interested in Greek mythology, based on your screen name.

When I get sad, I pore over encyclopedias for hours. They give me perspective.