I have no motivation

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Fifasy

In fifth grade my precious lil "parents" sent me to six months of clarinet lessons

And I hated it

In eighth grade, took band at school. Clarinet

Ninth grade took marching band. Two weeks. Trombone. Performed once.



Then school started. Japanese class was the same time. So took Japanese

Once in a while want to play trombone

But cost benefit analysis

Lessons cost $$. Trombone cost$$

Nowhere to practice

Do not have that kind of patience

Impatient

Lazy

Apathetic



And whatever effort I put will not be worth the outcome

There is no law that says I have to take trombone



Nobody is holding a gun to my ugly fat stupid head and telling me to take trombone

Nobody is financially bribing me to take trombone

Nobody is peer pressuring me to take trombone

So

As usual I don't do nothing too hard



Burnout

Lazy

Impatient

Sensitive hearing

Apathetic

Cowardly

Fear of failure and social rejection

Too far gone

Lost cause



Logistics

Fair enough short.

You're not a performing seal

But maybe you could?d arrange for a friend to hold a gun to your head metaphorically speaking if you needed motivation, as long as its a toy one

That looks like what we call depression. A feeling of emptiness, anxiety, deep sadness, loneliness and that nothing matters.

As you may know, that happens to every adult person and it's said that, when you're an aspie, you're more prone to depression than normal people. I often have strong crisis of depression but the times when it really caught me the most were when I was stressed or with the passing of age: firstly when I was eighteen, next when I was in my thirties, lastly when I turned forty.

With age the human mind becomes troubled by change and the perspective (or lack thereof) of what tomorrow will bring. Most normal people cope with existential crisis in a less dramatic way than we do. They may feel depressed for a while but soon that will vanish. For many of us aspies though, changes and uncertainty strike tougher than thunder and therefore, depression is probably more difficult to overcome.

Fifasy



Ain't got no precious lil "friends"

A toy gun would not scare me or motivate me