This is getting so f*****g old. I can't live on what I am making but I can't make more because I can't just work more hours or the anxiety gets me and I can't just get a better job because they won't f*****g let me (master's degree and still working for just over min. wage). My landlord is threatening to kick me out (or has basically done it in her mind but I have until this weekend to get out) for not paying $90/month for electricity when there is no way I could be using that much. I got an 80 square foot room where I use a fan, pretty much 24/7 (either on me or my dog, she keeps it too hot to do otherwise), my cell phone/tablet (can only power one at a time, only have one cord), my TV maybe on average 2 hours a week, and my computer maybe 10 hours a week (I am never home anymore it's been too hostile for a while now, when I am home I'm generally on another device).
I just had to drown my thoughts with music while I was stimming a ton just to f*****g calm down. It's mostly worked but my mind is still racing and I can't focus at all which at 12:23 AM is a problem considering I know I will be woken up at 7 like I always am and have to be out the door by 8 to work until 6 (and still not make enough... *sigh*). I am thinking about going to law school... where I know I can be successful (already have a master's remember) but I don't want to end up right back here and it feels like nothing will ever work out. *sigh*
Sorry for the swearing, hopefully that is allowed here
05 Oct 2017, 2:25 am
