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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2015, 2:04 pm



Edenthiel
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24 Oct 2015, 2:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Cr*p. Didn't even finish it & I'm crying. It's so incredibly true; adults teach kids and let them know what is and isn't acceptable by our words and our actions - and our inactions. Let's make sure we send the right messages.


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Amity
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24 Oct 2015, 2:42 pm

Nice sentiment, it's good to see people interjecting in a balanced way.



Earthling
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24 Oct 2015, 4:13 pm

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing.

I think that it's not enough though.
Bullying usually isn't a one-time thing, it's continuous.
It will probably keep happening after teachers/fellow students/strangers have intervened. It will happen when nobody's around, it will happen the next day, and the day after that.
It's good to show solidarity against bullying in single instances of bullying, no question, but the nature of it is more pervasive.

Those who are bullied need to know that they can and learn how to properly ask for help (without being taken for a lunatic because the things that happened to them subjectively are genuninely unbelievably horrible), get support coping with the trauma and adopt a proper mindset and possibly physique to counteract future offenses.

Just being against bullying and reasoning with the bully to stop is too temporary. People who are bullied shouldn't have to rely on others coming to their rescue when it's already too late.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2015, 5:31 pm

If I have a son or daughter, I will make sure to enroll him/her into some martial arts starting very young age just for that.

Then the b*****s and a**holes wouldn't dare to mess with them.



Earthling
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24 Oct 2015, 5:34 pm

Well, you can have the best technique and strongest muscles but still be bullied if you allow it to happen.
Mindset is the magic word. And having a general idea of what will actually help in what situation.

But ofc I'm all for the martial arts. :ninja:



Amity
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24 Oct 2015, 5:38 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If I have a son or daughter, I will make sure to enroll him/her into some martial arts starting very young age just for that.

Then the b*****s and a**holes wouldn't dare to mess with them.


I have a young relative quite proficient in a martial art, and it doesn't exempt her from being bullied from an emotional perspective, maybe the bullying is more physical with boys?

Edited to add: that I don't believe that 'allowing it to happen' is a helpful view to take. Yes life is tough at times, and a responsible parent prepares their child for the real world, however some children do not recognise bullying when it is happening, or don't know how to react to it, maybe their parents don't know either etc.



Last edited by Amity on 24 Oct 2015, 5:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Edenthiel
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24 Oct 2015, 5:42 pm

Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If I have a son or daughter, I will make sure to enroll him/her into some martial arts starting very young age just for that.

Then the b*****s and a**holes wouldn't dare to mess with them.


I have a young relative quite proficient in a martial art, and it doesn't exempt her from being bullied from an emotional perspective, maybe the bullying is more physical with boys?

I've noticed many times girls will, "bully by isolation". That is, they'll shun the girl they are bullying and round up a small group to ignore her together. Boys do that too, but they are also more likely to go for an immediate reaction using physical violence.


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Last edited by Edenthiel on 24 Oct 2015, 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2015, 5:46 pm

Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If I have a son or daughter, I will make sure to enroll him/her into some martial arts starting very young age just for that.

Then the b*****s and a**holes wouldn't dare to mess with them.


I have a young relative quite proficient in a martial art, and it doesn't exempt her from being bullied from an emotional perspective, maybe the bullying is more physical with boys?


For boys, it's often both together, physical bullying always come with verbal/emotional bullying (someone who is beating you, will also insult you and humiliate you), but verbal/emotional bullying doesn't always come with physical.

But the girl proficient in martial arts can still retaliate to emotional bullying by kicking some ass.



Amity
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24 Oct 2015, 5:56 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If I have a son or daughter, I will make sure to enroll him/her into some martial arts starting very young age just for that.

Then the b*****s and a**holes wouldn't dare to mess with them.


I have a young relative quite proficient in a martial art, and it doesn't exempt her from being bullied from an emotional perspective, maybe the bullying is more physical with boys?


For boys, it's often both together, physical bullying always come with verbal/emotional bullying (someone who is beating you, will also insult you and humiliate you), but verbal/emotional bullying doesn't always come with physical.

But the girl proficient in martial arts can still retaliate to emotional bullying by kicking some ass.


She could but her behaviour would result in being seriously disciplined and stigmatised. It has only been useful (without disciplinary consequences) to her in this way with boys who thought it was ok to push/hit her.



Amity
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24 Oct 2015, 6:01 pm

Edenthiel wrote:
Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If I have a son or daughter, I will make sure to enroll him/her into some martial arts starting very young age just for that.

Then the b*****s and a**holes wouldn't dare to mess with them.


I have a young relative quite proficient in a martial art, and it doesn't exempt her from being bullied from an emotional perspective, maybe the bullying is more physical with boys?

I've noticed many times girls will, "bully by isolation". That is, they'll shun the girl they are bullying and round up a small group to ignore her together. Boys do that to, but they are also more likely to go for an immediate reaction using physical violence.


Children can be so cruel, much of it is learned through socialisation, their environment.



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25 Oct 2015, 10:46 am

If only it were that simple



Edenthiel
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25 Oct 2015, 2:04 pm

Feyokien wrote:
If only it were that simple

It is, in a way. The underlying idea that I gleaned from it is that we adults need to change what we teach children in our society. Not just in words, but in our day to day interactions. They learn from us what is acceptable and what is not & in the last decade there has been a fair segment of our society that has actually rallied against stopping bullying as being "PC". They've mocked the idea that bullying should stop. Mostly because such a shift in our culture would interfere with their ability to bully...


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Feyokien
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25 Oct 2015, 6:15 pm

Edenthiel wrote:
Feyokien wrote:
If only it were that simple

It is, in a way. The underlying idea that I gleaned from it is that we adults need to change what we teach children in our society. Not just in words, but in our day to day interactions. They learn from us what is acceptable and what is not & in the last decade there has been a fair segment of our society that has actually rallied against stopping bullying as being "PC". They've mocked the idea that bullying should stop. Mostly because such a shift in our culture would interfere with their ability to bully...


Unfortunately bullying is wrapped up in the greater fundamental flaw of human conflict, which will never end. As long as competition exists people will always be at odds. That doesn't mean we can't try though, but I think the current climate is failing at making a real impact though. I believe teenage suicide has actually gone up. All the mildly/non bullied individuals are celebrating how great they are, but the outcasts are still in the shadows being persecuted. No one stands for the silent.



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05 Nov 2015, 12:01 am

I don't think it works if the bully is well liked by others and does it in a very subtle way, unfortunately.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Oct 2017, 1:47 am

However, when the victim is a boy...