Since my life plays out in an almost 3rd person in most things, I am not as heavily effected by most events. I've been depressed before. I am still human for as much as I am told. But "Depression"?
I have been highly unmotivated this last 40 days. I feel ill and want to sleep a lot, and I am sorely lacking the energy to giver to other people, even my son & fiance, specially my high maintenance roomate. I am unusually obsessive on things right now, and really immersing myself in sappy manga and movies. Job hunt has now stretched into 6 months. The crappy control freak ex roomate poisoned the well in this small town for me getting job, but I will eat glass before i ask him any favors, frikkin creeper! So it is more difficult to hunt 30 miles away when I have only 40 bucks over the living expenses. I also cry easily. I rarely "feel" strong about things. Even my politics that seen strong in debate are lukewarm to my mood.
Can it be depression if it is a bad mood that has lasted so long? I feel frustrated so I come off irritated. I am really blu and mopey. I am tired. And my personal space zone has raised back to childhood limits of "stay in another room/dont TOUCH ME!" Is there ways to ease it that anyone has gone through? I am feeling better this week if that is of any use. *sigh* I need a job, even a crappy one. Im sure that would help a lot
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02 Oct 2017, 12:10 pm
