Terrible day at work

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Lately, I have not been very active here on Wrong Planet for two reasons:



1. The members on here who were participating in the topics I have been following quit posting on them.



2. The members on here that I have been writing to have apparently abandoned me.



Whatever the reasons for them not being on here, it hurts, but it is not the topic of this thread.



Five days ago, on Thursday, 28 September, 2017, I had one of the worst days I ever had at my job. I have been thinking about it ever since then, and I have worried about writing about it on here.



Twenty minutes after I arrived at work, things were going well, but then my supervisour told me that I was required to take an interactive course about sexual harassment. I did not get any notice about this course, and I did not feel that I needed this training, but I was told that I needed the training as part of my job, and that if I did not take it, then I would lose my job. I tried to tell them that I did not think I needed the course, and that I was uncomfortable about taking about sex, but my request was denied. I started the course on the staff computers, and the subjects discussed laws about sexual harassment, what is & what is not sexual harassment, and how to behave yourself on the job. There were also tests I had to take about the subjects. The course took the entire work day to complete, and I did not even get to take a lunch break. I do not know how well I did on the course, or if I got a passing score; I may have to take it again if I did not do well on the course. Another problem I had was that I had to use uncomfortable ear buds to listen to the audio from the computer, which never stay in my ears, and they also hurt my ears.



Taking the sexual harassment course was very embarrassing for me. I do not talk about sex with any one else; it makes me very uncomfortable. I also hated having to take the course in the back room with no privacy. It may have been somewhat easier if I could have taken the required course in private, with no one else around watching me. I am just self-conscious, and learning about sex & sexual harassment in the presence of other staff embarrassed me. They were also talking loudly, which distracted me from the course, and made me get wrong answers on the test.



I have always been a nice person, and I was raised to be a gentleman; I have never, ever sexually harassed any one in my life. I did not gain anything from taking the course; I already knew every thing which was taught it it. I know how to behave towards other people. Talking to people & even approaching them makes me very nervous, and I always think about my actions, and I try to rehearse my actions before I do them. Asking for help with something is hard enough for me, and asking for sexual favours is the last thing I would ever ask any one for. The course was 100% irrelevant to me, and I was absolutely furious about having to take it.



After the end of my work day, I thought my problems were over, but things got even worse. I went to my Dad's house after I left my work to get something from him. When I arrived at his house, his stupid dogs were barking at me. I am very sensitive to loud louses, and they really hurt my ears. He has the loudest, most obnoxious dogs I have ever seen, and I detest his dogs. He was not alert & did not even know that I was there. I was yelling as loud as I could yell for his dogs to be quiet & stop barking. While I was struggling with the dogs' noise, my Dad's stupid wife, who is not my mother, scolded me for yelling. My fury was at its peak! I do not understand how my father could not be alert with the loud noises of his dogs barking, or why that stupid woman tolerates barking, but not my problems.



That night, I went home, and I cried all night. I could not sleep that night, and I just laid in my bed, in the dark, trying to sleep, but all I did was cry.



I went back to work yesterday, and I wanted to discuss my problems with someone who helps me at my job, but he was not there yesterday. He always comes to work with me on Mondays, and I was expecting to see him yesterday, but he just did not show up at all, and he did not tell me that he was not coming.



I am still crying about this problem right now, and I really need help, if any one can help me, or give me some helpful advice.



Thank you.

I really don't think an employer should be forced to participate in a course of that kind. Neither is it right that you missed your lunch break. Sometimes circumstances in a work environment suck - I know what it's like.

Sorry too about the noisy dogs - do you get along well with your Dad but only visit when you need to? What kind of dogs are they?

Next time, let him know in advance (maybe with an SMS) that you're on the way there and can he please meet you at the gate or front door so the dogs don't bark.

Sorry you had such a bad day.

A lot of those courses are compulsory now, however irrelevant they are.
Everyone at your work place has to do it so try not to take it too personally.
Try to do something that soothes you and distracts your mind so you don't keep thinking about it.
I hope it has helped you to write about what happened, but I would still talk to that person at work if this issue keeps bothering you.

I thank you both for your helpful advice & suggestions. I posted this topic yesterday, and the first response that I received was a disgusting, sarcastic insult which made me feel even worse that I was feeling while I was typing. I reported the comment, and fortunately, it was quickly deleted.



It helped me to write about it on here. I am going back to work later today, and I hope my helper is there. I am going to explain to him how I felt about it, and I am going to request some special accommodations for me if I am required to take any more courses in the future. I will try to be more open-minded, and not take it personally. Taking the course was a surprise to me, and I may have misunderstood the requirements.



My Dad & I have always had a close relationship, but his dogs & his wife have caused serious problems in our father/son relationship. I am 32 years old, so I am an adult, but I still feel that he has a moral obligation to be a good father, and be there for me when I need him. I am going to write to him & tell him that I need to have a chat with him about what would make it easier for me when I visit his house. I live alone in my own condominium, and I only go over to his house when he invites me over, and I only stay there as long as necessary.



My Dad's dogs are a small breed called Pomeranians. I have never liked them at all because they bark at everything, and they bark very loudly. They also smell terrible. I think he cares more about his dogs than he cares about me.



Thank you both for helping me out. I am feeling a little bit better now. It helps me to know that someone cares about me.

Last edited by 300series on 04 Oct 2017, 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Poms are certainly far from my favourite dog breed. I don't know why anyone would like them much. They look like tiny little lions. The old lady in the other flat has one. Luckily it doesn't bark much but is elderly and spoiled. My favourite dog breeds are Miniature Pinschers, dachshunds and beagles.

What type of work do you do? I'm glad you have a helper - someone you can talk to.

Me too. I do not know why any one likes Pomeranian dogs either. They are loud, ugly, and disgusting. With my sensory issues, they are the worst kind of dog I could imagine. My Dad got his first dog because he wanted a companion, but now he has more of them than he can control, and now he just takes them in out of pity.



I work as a library aide for the San Diego Public Library. I have worked there for the last 8 years. Originally, I began working there as a volunteer 10 years ago, and then 2 years later, I was hired as a library aide. It has been a good job; however, I wish I could get a promotion or work full-time. Besides what happened 6 days ago, there was only one other occasion when I was furious over something that happened to me on the job, which happened back in 2010.



The man that I mentioned who helps me out at my job is called my job coach. He comes to see me periodically at the library, and he helps me out whenever I need help with something related to my work. His service is provided to me job a state-funded group for individuals with disabilities that I am a part of called the San Diego Regional Centre. I have been a client of that group since I was 12 years old.



I hope I have a good day at work today, and I hope my chat with my Dad is not too uncomfortable for me.

All the best for the day. May you have a good one.

I can sort of understand why they expect everyone to have knowledge of sexual harassment issues, and even if it all seems obvious, as do many things, there's probably a city ordinance or something which makes it compulsory so would apply to all positions and departments falling under the City of San Diego management.

Not always easy to have a heart to heart talk, but I hope he will be in a receptive frame of mind. As I said, it should help if he knows when you're coming. You could even arrange to meet on neutral turf such as at a coffee shop, if you really hate going to his place. May cost money, but might be better if you don't get along with his wife.

Big dragon hugs. I can relate - I too hate discussion of anything pertaining to sex. I also understand feeling like it was pointless for you, but they probably have to make everyone take it - not that that makes it any less unpleasant to have to do it. I'm sorry you had such a bad day, and I hope your conversations with your dad and your job coach go well. I wish I had some advice to give, but I do have plenty of hugs.

Thank you for your caring words; it helps me a lot.



It is making more sense to me now that I have had your insight. Everything from the course was unnecessary for me, but I could not get out of it because of the city policies.



I am also going to talk with my Dad either tonight or tomorrow night after I get home from work at the library. I will tell him that I need to discuss something important with him, and I will ask if we could speak in a private place or go somewhere else to talk.



When I see my job coach again, I am going to ask for some special accommodations for any future training; I am not thrilled about discussing it either, but it is important to me to talk about it.



Dragonsanddemons:



Thank you for the dragon hugs! I hate sex, and everything pertaining to sex; it makes me very uncomfortable. I have not heard from you for a while, and I was hoping you were doing okay. Thank you for your advice, and here are 300 hugs back!

I'm hanging in there. My depression hasn't been so bad the past few days. I haven't felt like I have a whole lot to say lately, but I'm still around. I wish I'd seen this when you first posted it and were really in need of some support, but I'm glad you're feeling a bit better now. I hope your talk with your dad goes well.

Thanks. I am doing better, and you were very helpful to me when I needed support. I will do the same thing for you. I am glad that you are doing better. It is okay if you do not have much to say; I do not really say much either.



Yesterday at work, I saw my job coach briefly, just for a few minutes, so I did not really get a chance to talk to him much, but if he is there today, then I will discuss the course with him.



I will be seeing my Dad tonight after work, and I will talk with him. I am nervous about it, but I feel that it is imperative that I talk with him about my problem, and how he can help me out in the future.

Yes, you need to chat to him and I hope it goes OK and achieves the desired outcome.

I think it must be rather nice to work in a library environment among all those books.

I, too, extend a hug to you. It was sad to read of your experiences. I am glad you are feeling better, and I hope things improve, after speaking with your Dad.

Sorry you had such a bad day at worked. You basically got sexually harassed by a sexual harassment video (not trying to be funny). It sucks that it took all day and you missed lunch, sounds more like sexual harassment traumatization to me, for goodness sakes. Sounds like you have a good job for the most part though, and you'll find that as the days go on you'll get back to your normal routine at your library.

Thanks, everybody, for all the support.



I had the discussion with my Dad last night after I got off of work, and it actually went better than I expected it to go. I did not even have to call him or send him a message that I was there. He was expecting me, and he was waiting for me outside in his driveway when I drove up. We just talked outside for a few minutes, and I did not even have to go inside his house. I told his that I was very unhappy with what happened to me last week, and he said that he would meet me outside or at his front door whenever I came over to his house for a visit. He also told me that he thinks the library will honour my requests for the special accommodations for any future training.



The training was definitely sexual harassment trauma for me! It made me uncomfortable, it was unnecessary for me, it took my entire work day to finish, and I did not get my lunch break. I have never sexually harassed any one before, and I do not every want to have sex or date any one either. Hopefully, it will be better if I have to do it again in the future.



I like working in the library. It is nice & quiet, and the work is rewarding for me. I hope that I can still continue to keep my job.

I'm glad it went well with you and your dad. That is great.

I'm sure you'll be OK in your job, even if you did a bit poorly in the harassment course, as it's how you are doing the actual work that counts. And having a supportive person there is a fantastic thing.

Are you not in the least interested in dating anyone of either sex? Not that there's anything wrong with that.