Do you ever feel that ASD people are protected too much?

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It often seems that on every internet forum, even liberal, progressive even explicitly feminist, ones that emphasize diversity, that there is too much protection of those on the Spectrum and that autistic children are given too much leeway and autistic adults are so much of a burden on society that they deserve to be cast out. That there are simply too many autistic people using it as an excuse for the worst behaviors, that it is happening all the time and that if we feel depressed it is because we should be. Often I go through those phases and it has become a challenge to cope with. Even Temple Grandin has said as much, that autistic children are given so many free passes that if they feel bad about themselves it is because there's no expectation for them to put any effort into adapting.

Is this accurate or am I just looking in a distorted manner?

i do feel that when SOME autistic children are given too many accommodations (how many is too many?) and free passes for their disability it gives a message that they do not have to change/work on their behaviors, which is poor preparation for the relative inflexibility and harshness of the adult "real" world and thus they are being done a massive disservice.

but of course some adapt regardless. painfully or otherwise.

I believe both processes are at work (at least in the US)

1. In schools, it seems as if at least some people on the Spectrum are "protected" so much that they are rendered unprepared for the world outside the friendly and sheltering confines of Academia. They might not be informed of the tools necessary, say, for success within job interviews.

2. In the working world, however, at least some are not given a chance to succceed because of "social" expectations. There is a reluctance on the part of at least some employers to accommodate autustic people, there is considerable ignorance (willful or otherwise) of ASD's, and there is a strong emphasis on teamwork which is counterintuitive for the autistic person. Disclosure of autism could lead to a certain ostracism--mostly subtle; and to a desire on the part of employers to terminate one who has disclosed.

All I have stated applies mostly to relatively "high-functioning" people on the Spectrum.

I know my parents have had to walk a tightrope between accommodating me and challenging me.

No, but I grew up in the 90's I was just seen as 'weird' I don't think aspergers was really known about at that time. I certainly had symptoms...but parents at that time where convinced if you had a kid who was 'different' the school would try to pressure parents to medicate the child. I think it was partially fear of that, which led my parents to insist
'there's nothing wrong with her' she just needs an attitude adjustment and nothing is wrong approach...of course until I tried to kill myself when they realized, oh maybe she needs some help and support.

I don't encounter vast numbers of autistic kids in real life. So I don't know how they get treated.
Am also confused when you're talking about websites. Are you talking about people on website allowing bad behavior by autistics ON THE WEBSITE itself? Or do you mean people on social websites (presumabley NT people) talk too much about allowing bad behavior by autistics in real life?

My life experiences are pretty similar to Sweetleaf's. Grew up even farther back in ancient times (Sixties, and Seventies).

Autism first came on the scene in the mid Sixties as a thing in the popular mind. But there was no notion of an "autism spectrum". So only low functioning children were recognized as "autistic". No one, even shrinks, outside of the German speaking part of central Europe had ever heard of aspergers. And even in 1994 when the DSM decided that autism was a spectrum, and that there is this thing called "aspergers", and further, that aspergers is really a kind of high functioning autism, even most American shrinks seemed to have failed have gotten the memo. The shrink I went to said that she "never even heard of aspergers" until our family mentioned the word to her in the mid 2000's. A decade after her profession recognized it as a diagnosis. So no, I have never experienced folks "protecting me" because I have an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis.

Websites and forums are not real life.

What counts most is how people are treated in real life.

People tend to adopt opinions on websites which they wouldn't express in real life. I call this the "rant factor." They do not reflect what is actually happening among people in real life.

Having kids grown up in a plastic bubble, then wondering why they fail to assimilate into society is plain stupid. Parents doing that are doing a disservice to their offspring. I think 90% would be able to find some kind of job that matches their level of functionality.

If i had not been exposed to successes and failures, i would never been able to have a single job in my life.

I think on every website and forum etc be it NT or a neurodiverse everytime a new member joins they should be sent a set of forum rules to read and they have to agree to follow them before joining the site. Before agreeing to the rules if they have questions they shoud be encouraged to ask. Once a person is a member the rules need to be applied consistently with explanations. At all times members should be allowed to question and discuss rules but until such time as the rules change they need to be enforced consistently.

Running a website is a 24/7 job and often done as a hobby so unfortunatly most people do not have the time, resources, or inclination for consistant moderation.

In general the “hovering parent” phenomenon both spoils and abuses children. The “everybody wins a trophy” culture does spoil children and the micromanaging of their lives does not allow children the freedom to figure out who they are and is abusive in that way.

Instead of college, some Apies would benefit from job and relationship training.
With over parenting, some kids have difficulty transitioning to a world in which they aren't at the center of the universe.

Autistics = autistic people too, just for those who prefer it being used as an adjective rather than a noun.

What kind of behaviours do you mean? I can't say I've noticed that myself.

Autistic people really aren't treated too well in general. People who function "highly" on the Spectrum are frequently seen as being "excuse-makers" and that ilk. Sensory issues are disregarded. The powerful need to undergo social "rituals" means that autistic people who disregard them are shunted off to the side.

There's lots of ignorance pertaining to the Spectrum--most people, even if they are aware of its existence (which frequently they are not) really lack a thorough conception of it. People who superficially function "well" frequently are told that they are not "really" autistic, even by clinicians. To some, Rain Man is extremely high-functioning.

On the other side of the coin, I find that some people with autism just give up the ghost too easily. There are ways to get around social "rituals," and to function well in school and employment. But they feel, in order not to "sell out," that they must not compromise with the "NTs." They feel that diplomacy is "NT", and not necessary in human relations. Being sensitive to other people is not "NT." It is the correct and moral way to go about doing things.