Sister keeps leaving me out

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Hi,
I have a sister who I am currently not on speaking terms with due to the relationship between us not being toxic along with her misunderstanding autism. Moreover, she isn't speaking to me because she thinks that I condemn her and her husband because of the lifestyle that they both live along. Though I only spoke to my brother-in-law on IM in the beginning of their relationship, I soon learned that by those interactions and by my family that he is not a nice person who is abusing my sister emotionally.

Despite that, I was left out of her small ceremony last year and their one-year belated wedding reception after hearing about it from my other sister, who I do get along with. Though I have mainly accepted it, it still breaks my heart, I have felt very left out.

She has blocked me from every form of social media and refuses to let me be a part of her life which really hurts.

Most recently, I found out that she had the reception for her one year anniversary and no one said anything to me. I only found out when I spoke to my younger sister about it on Thanksgiving. I was hurt because both of my parents thought I would be invited when I wasn't.

It's unfortunate that it upsets you, but it's sometimes true that some relatives just don't want you in their lives, and you often have to accept that. It's up to her whom your sister wants to include in her private business.
However, if the rift between you was indeed based on a misunderstanding, maybe you could explain that and build a relationship? Or agree to disagree - if you really don't like her husband or agree with her lifestyle, maybe you can still have a connection if you can agree to just disagree on those points?
It might or might not be possible though. Some people just don't gel.

The truth is, I have never met him and but heard that he is not a good match for her due to having lots of problems of his own.

Now regarding to all the times we did try and connect:
1. She was controlling
2. She was patronizing
3. She was cold
4. She doesn't get it that I have no relationship with my parents

Advice: not you problem anymore. Maybe you tried to reach out to her and she slammed the door on your face because she loves her husband so much that won't tolerate anyone speaking ill of him. What goes in the their minds is this: these newly-weds just started their lives together and all that they don't need is people saying that they aren't meant to each other. How would you feel if someone tried to say the same to you?

If they don't want you around, don't be around. Leave them alone - that's for the best or worse, time will tell. Besides, if time happens to show everyone that you were right, this will seem unfair but you aren't entitled to tell everyone "I told you so". It's the other people who have to come to that conclusion, by themselves.

Cheers.

I am not going to call her up and yell at her for leaving me out of both events though it did hurt me because she's known to accuse me of "Victimizing myself."

I also stopped talking to her four years ago because she was so controlling and destructive and was driving me nuts. She also would complain about wanting to see me and talk to me but when it boiled down to it, she was very evasive and callous.

Sooo ... isn't it a good thing that she leaves you out, then? If you dislike her that much, and she behaves in this way whenever you see her, why exactly do you want to be invited to her events and get upset when she doesn't invite you? I would have thought not being invited to occasions by someone who behaves like that would be a relief - you don't have to go, you don't have to make excuses not to see them or be treated badly.
It doesn't always follow that siblings have to have a relationship with one another if they're just not a good match. I don't have a relationship with mine for that reason - not because of any rudeness, just because of different lifestyles, attitudes, beliefs etc it's easier just not to have much contact. Thus when I am not invited to things I'm rather glad, because I don't have to go through the awkwardness.

I never thought that I dislike her and you know what? That fits. All this time I have been dwelling on the fact that she dislikes me because
A. She used to run her mouth off to the point that I would beat her up
B.My mom brainwashed her into thinking that autism is the same thing as schizophrenio and bipolar disorder.
C. Her husband is mean to my family

Sounds like she and her husband are a perfect match. Just forget about them. Not your circus.