Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

29 Nov 2017, 11:06 am

When something goes wrong why do people always want to divide the blame for it? For instance I've mentioned that my neighbors are noisy and obnoxious and I've reported them to my landlords several times. Ergo THEY are the problem not me. Therefor the solution to the problem would be to do something to THEM not ME. But the last time I called to complain they said "Okay but we're going to count this as a strike against you too." I asked why and they said "Because you're part of the problem." Apparently I'm not tolerant enough of my noisy partyboy neighbors so I share at least half of the blame for being kept up all night by them.

Is it really such a strange concept to people that ONE PERSON can be the cause of all the trouble?



the_phoenix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,489
Location: up from the ashes

29 Nov 2017, 11:08 am

It sounds like your landlords are jerks.



FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

29 Nov 2017, 11:12 am

They kind of are but they're not the only ones I've seen doing this. Like when I was in school I was bullied a lot but I stopped reporting it because instead of just punishing the bullies the teachers would go "Okay [so and so] punched you in the hallway but you also said some not nice things to him after being punched so I have to give you detention too."



the_phoenix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,489
Location: up from the ashes

29 Nov 2017, 11:18 am

Possible options in my humble opinion:

1) The kid who punched you gets an hour or more detention, you get a half hour or less detention for what you said.

2) If you had punched the kid back, you would both get an hour or more detention.

Something to consider ... if you had punched this other kid, maybe the bullying would be more likely to stop?

Just my musings because I'm not there and really don't know you or your situation.



Britte
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,136
Location: @

29 Nov 2017, 11:56 am

I've learned that there is a certain type of person who views complaints and/or, simply seeking solutions to problems, as negative. Once I am aware of this characteristic in a person, I know not to go to them, again, in the future. You are supposed to be able to go to your landlord with issues, without worrying you'll be given an unwarranted strike against you, thus, I empathize with you and the frustration you could be feeling.



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

30 Nov 2017, 12:15 am

What about an alternative?
Instead of complaining to the landlords if they're not receptive, can you instead speak to the neighbours themselves, explain that they are keeping you up with their noise, and come to an agreement between you? Say, no noise after 11pm except friday/saturday if they are party people and want to party?
There could be compromises made, instead of pushing to have it all exclusively your own way.
Perhaps the landlords have had experience with people with silly demands? I know one ongoing neighbour dispute a relative has, and she tries to stop any of the neighbour's guests parking on the road outside her house. It's a public street. This is obviously not reasonable. That's equally obviously not what you are doing, but maybe they're lumping you in with people like that? That they see anyone with a complaint as being unreasonable because of past experience?
If you could resolve it without them involved that might be better if they're going to punish you for a complaint.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

30 Nov 2017, 10:43 am

C2V wrote:
What about an alternative? Instead of complaining to the landlords if they're not receptive, can you instead speak to the neighbours themselves?


I tried this. Their reply was "either pull the stick out of your @$$ or shut the @#$% up."



the_phoenix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,489
Location: up from the ashes

30 Nov 2017, 10:52 am

FunkyPunky wrote:
C2V wrote:
What about an alternative? Instead of complaining to the landlords if they're not receptive, can you instead speak to the neighbours themselves?


I tried this. Their reply was "either pull the stick out of your @$$ or shut the @#$% up."


Sadly, I know the type.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

30 Nov 2017, 5:40 pm

Are there not noise laws where you live?
Here you can’t be noisy from 10pm until 10am
Construction workers have to wait til after 10am to start or get special noise permits.
So when a neighbor can too noisy one just calls the police and they go and tell them to keep it down between hours of 100m-10 am. Only exception is 4th of July and New Year’s Eve.



FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

30 Nov 2017, 6:21 pm

We do have a noise ordinance but it's very vague in what constitutes as too much noise. Usually all my neighbors do is stand around outside and talk very loudly. They don't play music or anything like that. There were a couple times when they tried using a circular saw in the middle of the night or chopping wood with an axe at 1am but that's rare. Usually they just talk and their voices carry through my walls and I doubt if Icalled the police they would care much.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia

30 Nov 2017, 7:54 pm

It sounds like they like to stay up late and wake up late. Try making some noise early in the morning and let them know how it feels to get their sleep disrupted.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short