Deciding not to be annoyed?

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FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

30 Nov 2017, 12:51 pm

You might have guessed by all the complaining threads I start on here that I'm easily annoyed by a lot of things. Things that "normal" people don't even notice like the way my coworker yawns like a horse every ten seconds. When I bring it up people tell me to just not pay attention to it like I'm making a conscious choice to notice these things and be annoyed by them. So... can I do that? And how?



FunkyPunky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Aug 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 349

01 Dec 2017, 10:32 am

Bump?



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

02 Dec 2017, 1:53 am

FunkyPunky wrote:
Bump?

Hah, yeah I'd give you some stellar ideas if I could. But actually I find this sort of thing one of the hardest to do, as I'm easily annoyed too.
Ok so here's an attempt - philosophically, it actually doesn't matter that much. Your co-worker yawns. So what? Perhaps some self-talking about the bigger picture could help in the moment. It's annoying, but it's actually a trivial thing, and you can just note that the person is doing it and dismiss it, because it's not important.
Practically, you might be able to turn your chair so you don't see this person, or put something surreptitiously in the way, but that would only be working on that one situation and the above reads like you mean the general attitude of irritation, in all circumstances.
When people say you're choosing to be annoyed - I suppose in a way that's correct. You are in control of your responses, and technically nothing can "make" you anything. You don't have to respond with that emotion to stimulus.
This is probably way too TMI so I'll try to be a bit vague - but I have a similar issue with a problem behaviour I act out in response to a certain physical sensation. That sensation comes up, I respond with that behaviour.
Until I realized that I don't have to. I can just note that the physical sensation itself is there, it's unpleasant, but if I just wait and redirect my thought process, the sensation will go away on its own without me doing anything. I don't actually have to enact this behaviour every time I feel that way.
That's a principle of mindfulness practice, so perhaps looking into that philosophy for ways to redirect your irritation more creatively might help?


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