Finding it too hard to throw things away

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I will be moving out of my family home in 3 weeks, but there is something that is actually stressing me out more than anything else. I've got so much stuff in my bedroom, like books, drawings, ornaments, and old things from childhood that I don't want to part with. And lots more clutter. But all that clutter means something to me.

I am going to be moving into my boyfriend's apartment, and it will be impossible to take all that stuff with me, as he does not have a cellar or an attic or a shed. And I can't keep it all in my old bedroom because it's not fair on my parents.

My mum says that once I have moved out and getting on with my life I won't really look at my old books and old toys again - but that's where she is wrong. Every once in a while I have a nostalgic mood where I get things out what I haven't looked at for ages and I go through it, and it's so much fun. And I have lots of old books, all which I still like to keep in case I might want to read again. I know that I will. I have kept about 7 books full of stories I wrote about my previous special interest, and I spent a lot of time writing those stories, I really do not want to throw them away.

It's going to be really hard to decide what's very special because it ALL is as special as one another. What do other people do with all their stuff when they move to a smaller place? I get so attached to material things and I find it hard to let go of them. Another thing is my mum suggests I should get rid of my Simpsons figures I collected over the years, but I just cannot get rid of things like that. It is really eating me up inside. But if I brought every single thing in my bedroom to my boyfriend's apartment, there will be no room to move! But, as I said before, I can't just leave all my tons of books and CDs and stuff with my parents to deal with.

It’s a hard one, for sure.

The bummer about dolls: they take up so much friggin space.

I guess what I would do is go through all your stuff. If something is so precious that you cry at the thought of losing it, I’d keep it.

If it’s something that “would be nice if I could keep it,” I’d get rid of it.

Keep, donate (or sell), throw away.

Those are the decisions you have to make as you "downsize."

Things like paper (stories, etc.) can be stored flat and don't take too much room. Maybe you can buy some cartons or plastic storage units and keep a few things at your old place that you will go back for later. Discuss with your family whether you can keep a few things there for six months, and how much.

Collections, like stuffed animals or figurines, maybe you can select two or three favorite specimens and donate the rest.

You can have enough separation anxiety around this change that you don't move forward at all, so acknowledge that, and come up with a game plan that everyone involved can live with.

Personally, I find it less painful to get rid of stuff if I know it will be used by someone else, rather than just go to a landfill. I have given furniture to family and friends, sold a few things, and put a bicycle out on the curb with a "free" sign on it. Here in the States, Craigslist and other local neighborhood social media things can be helpful in rehoming your excess stuff.

Good luck on your big move. I'm very pleased to see you face this and grow towards maturity.

The only thing is, I don't always trust charity shops. I used to volunteer at a charity shop, and sometimes the manager used to make us throw away a lot of the donations, and most of it was all good stuff that could be sold. I want to know that my old toys will be going to a good home being used again. I have about 8 or 9 Pokemon plushies that I got when I was 9 (when it was all the craze in 1999), but if I donate those to a charity shop I know they won't be sold together, they will be seperated, and I want them to go somewhere together. I was going to give some of my old toys to my boyfriend's son's stepdaughter, as she's only 5. That will take some stress off my mind.

Also I have filled 3 bags of clothes up to take to the clothes bank. But I don't really know what happens to clothes in clothes banks. I hope they don't just go to a landfill.

PS, don't call me crazy but I do think objects have feelings, which is another reason why I worry about seperating things that have been together for so long, like my Pokemon plushies.

Whether the belief that objects have feelings is true, or not, one can also ask whether the belief is functional or is holding you back. In this case, it's definitely holding you back, adding to your anxiety. So you might counter that with the belief "Other people would separate their Pokemon plushies, and I can, too." Or you might tell yourself "I have to do this, no point in stressing over it."

You are focusing too much on what happens after you make a donation. Within the limits of energy and transportation. you can make a better or worse decision about disposition of the items. Giving some to your boyfriend's young daughter was a really good idea, you can feel good about that one. But you can be realistic about how much time and transportation you want to budget for disposing of things, and just say to yourself "it isn't worth doing anything further."

The charities in the US that take donations of household goods, clothing, etc., have some well established procedures. A lot of the clothing gets recycled as textile fibers. They do that if they don't think the item can sell. For instance, a shirt may have a prominent stain. Some organizations won't take stuffed toys because there's no real way to sanitize them, but others do. Etc. Some places even come pick up the donations at your place, which is a real help.

This is one of the transitions to adult life that you will have to make. Good luck. Lots of us here in these forums are waiting to hear how you like your new place!

Maybe select a reasonable sized box or tote bin that you could take with you & fill it with your most favourite things of the whole lot.

The rest? Give away to someone who will use or enjoy them. Donate to some charity organization picking up donations for thrift shops. Even if some things get discarded, there’s a better chance of things being used & loved than if you just straight up throw them in the garbage.

Also, any commercially produced books/music/movies/media etc can pretty much all be donated or recycled. Virtually everything can be found online when you want to read, hear, or watch something. It’s much easier to part with books and media knowing you can access them again whenever you want to, anyways.

Some of your other possessions could be digitized, too. You could snap photos of things & keep a digital record of them to look trough on a screen when you’re feeling nostalgic. Same for stories you’ve written, scan them. You could put a lot on a thumb drive and then donate/recycle/discard the material objects.

Also, for those material things you believe have feelings.. toke comfort in releasing them, freeing them, to be used and loved by someone else vs. you storing them and them just collecting dust and never, or extremely rarely, being utilized. If one believes a toy has life, then ya life should be lived as a toy enjoyed by a child, not just sitting on a shelf wasting away.

I still have way too much stuff of my own to give away, donate, or throw out. I made a dent a couple months ago but I have a LOT more to get rid of this year. My motivation to finally do it is that I want clear uncluttered space and a clear uncluttered mind in order to focus on my goals of returning to university again. That goal is far more important to me than hoarding boxes of books or not clearing out my closet. So, but by bit I’ll get it done.

You have to decide that moving on with the next stage of your life, living with your boyfriend, is a much more important and valuable thing to you than these material possessions from your past. Once you do that, the keep/give away/donate/recycle/throw out decision making process will become much easier IMO.

Good luck!

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

The scanning thing sounds a good idea, but it will take hours and hours to scan the 7 or 8 writing books full of my stories. There's, like, 150 pages in each book, times that by about 8... *works out this sum on phone calculator* ...I'd have to scan about 1,500 pages! Ahh!

What worries me is the amount of teddies I have. I don't know if it's because I've been brainwashed by Toy Story, but teddy bears and toys DO HAVE FEELINGS. People say why not donate them to children's hospitals, but I heard that a lot of these places have so many stuffed animals that they no longer want donations of more stuffed animals. It's like the world is overtook by teddies but so many people think teddies are too cute to be thrown out, that they just keep them or donate them.

I've given some of my toys to my boyfriend's step-granddaughter, but that has not made any difference to the amount of stuff I have hoarded in my bedroom. Even if I filled up 10 big bags full of stuff to throw away, my room would still be cluttered. That's how much stuff I have!

It's really difficult to downsize if you are sentimental or a hoarder ( my problem ).

I'm not sure how I did it but I had to be ruthless , I threw away a lot of stuff. I think I just closed my eyes

Personally I would say keep the irreplaceable items like your hand written books.

Simpson figures - sell em or chuck em , you can replace things like this unless their rare or valuable.

Inanimate objects don't have feelings except the ones you project on them.

Would photographs of your clutter help? A photo of your favourite teddy should evoke the same memories as the real McCoy.

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