Paranoid belief

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Something weird happened to me. I was laying in bed thinking of all the people who were mean to me in this life. I believe I did things that were bad in a past life because I used to have visions as a child of my past life and I did stupid things like give heroin to someone. So I got punished in this life. So I was lying in bed thinking about it and I said "f**k you" to the universe. Bad idea. Just then the tingly happy feeling in my head that I felt all year vanished. And I felt listless after that. Felt listless all day today. I have a feeling it will be that way for the rest of my life. I wish the universe would just forgive me. I said I was sorry and that I didnt mean it but I still feel dull.

Honestly, I don't believe in "past lives."

But you have a firm belief--and it's not my place to shake it.

Think about this concept:

The debts of the father/mother do not get handed down to the son/daughter.

You're the "daughter" right now to the person in your previous life who gave somebody heroin.

The best thing to do is to not repeat the mistakes of your forebear. Do better. Don't give out heroin like you forebear did. Do good deeds, instead.

A parent usually wants the son or daughter to do better than them (the parent).

I think that even if I do better I cant shake this dull feeling. Im no where near as bad as I was in a past life but in this life people have been mean to me. I just wish the universe would forgive me.

But your right. Ill try to be a good person.

Sometimes I get a feeling as though I'm never going to smile or laugh ever again.

Is that how you feel?

Not quite. But I just dont feel the same. Not as shiney and happy. Dull feeling is the only way I can describe it.

I think you'll be ok.

I doubt this feeling you have will last for ever.

Just try not to dwell on it too much.

Lets go with that belief in past lives.

Sounds like you have already been punished enough in this life for the previous.

So the debt is paid. So its time to move on.

^^Thats a good way of looking at it.

Yes I have found life difficult. Then again I wasnt a very tough kid and I didnt see reality the right way to defend myself. But Ive had enough. Im trying to not care if I dont feel as shiny and happy.

This is the very definition of karma, unless you knew that already.

I feel the same way, though I haven't been able to see much of my past lives, really. I need to find some time to try past life regression again. It is supposed to help you learn from your past mistakes...though I suppose what one does with that information is another matter entirely.

I guess that's part of why I haven't tried so hard to find the visions, because I don't know what particular good the knowledge would do me