How can you be confidant if you are not competant?

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slw1990
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25 Dec 2017, 3:40 pm

It seems like I struggle with things that are really obvious to most people. I have trouble figuring out how to do things like using gps on my phone, knowing how to respond to people, or even opening an envelope. I sometimes feel like a burden and it makes me feel worthless. I know most people have trouble with things once in a while and think nothing of it, but it seems like I constantly do and it makes me feel so inadequate. I think this also effects the way people treat me.



sly279
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25 Dec 2017, 4:03 pm

Confidence is just positive past experiences, so if your not conmpetant(positive past experiences) you can’t be confident in that subject.

Lots of successful for people have issues. My uncle doesn’t use the internet as he doesn’t know how. He still has a flip phone. My bosses at work sometimes use the wrong button for the radios. I’ve never used the wrong button. It boggles my mind the boss’s do it lol.

Opening envelope can be challenging that’s why they evented letter openers. I use a knife or scissors.



BTDT
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25 Dec 2017, 4:13 pm

The world is too complicated anymore for anyone to know everything, much less be able to do everything well.

Most people are confident because they have learned to do something well. And that is usually because they spent a lot of time learning and practicing. Maybe not with the latest gadget, but because they have spent a lot of time practicing with that family of gadgets, so they know what to expect.

The problem with a lot of younger Aspies is that they never got the opportunity to discover and develop things they are good at. Instead, there is so much pressure from parents to be normal that there wasn't time for that. More like a cycle of working really hard to just be average, then trying to recover from that, and then more hard work.



fluffysaurus
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26 Dec 2017, 9:29 am

I have had a smart phone for two years, am still trying to work out how to use it. It took me 18 months to work out how to get the menu and I still haven't made a text or call. I don't facebook, since I got locked out the second time when I needed the password after a year, and I didn't know it because I hadn't set it up. Have no idea how twitter, instagram or any of the other things work. Have to look up the meaning when people use abbreviations on WP all the time. I wouldn't attempt GPS, I'd stand more chance following the North Star like the three wise men :D

My only difficulty with envelopes is sometimes I get cut by them and I'm very proud of getting my avatar on WP after only 2 months:D



kraftiekortie
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26 Dec 2017, 9:52 am

It’s a cute avatar ❤️

I’m not as good with texting and stuff as most young kids are.



kraftiekortie
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26 Dec 2017, 9:57 am

People have to realize that they can’t be good at EVERYTHING.

I suck to an embarrassing degree at such things as cleaning my house. It’s not a disaster—but it takes me a long time to clean even a kitchen.

SLW is competent enough in many things. I can’t open envelopes

You are a human being. You deserve to treat yourself,,and have people treat you, with dignity.



fluffysaurus
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26 Dec 2017, 10:46 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
People have to realize that they can’t be good at EVERYTHING.

I suck to an embarrassing degree at such things as cleaning my house. It’s not a disaster—but it takes me a long time to clean even a kitchen.

SLW is competent enough in many things. I can’t open envelopes

You are a human being. You deserve to treat yourself,,and have people treat you, with dignity.


My cleaning takes a long time because I keep putting it off. Because I rent, I get an inspection every 6 months and have to spend 4 days before it getting it too look like it gets cleaned regularly and not like it only gets cleaned every 6 months :oops:



kraftiekortie
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26 Dec 2017, 12:16 pm

When I lived alone, I was the messy type—but I made sure I took out the garbage at least 4-5 times a week.

Lots of papers and such strewn about. Maybe clothes strewn about. No old food in the place, though.

I’d rather have a woman be into history than be into cleaning.



Ichinin
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28 Dec 2017, 9:36 am

Only advice i can give is to practice, practice, practice-practice, practice and practice.

Knowing stuff breeds confidence. Start with one thing, then the next, next and the one after that. After a while you know more and stop worrying. Commit to the subject, whatever it is or you won't succeed.

I started out fresh learning about a new subject 3 years ago, now i find flaws in books written by experts.


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Lace-Bane
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29 Dec 2017, 1:47 pm

confidence is only separated from temerity as if by a thin sheet of frost, and pride typically runs rather hot... can’t see any use for cultivating it within.

however, nonchalance can often be mistaken for confidence. when you do not care, you do not worry about your performance, and when you do not worry, there is no rigidity or resistance in the body or mind to get in the way of the tasks at hand. though... discipline is certainly necessary to perform said tasks with clarity and resolve.

anyway, failures are necessary stepping stones toward success. the sooner one learns that, the sooner they succeed in crossing to where they wish to find themselves. if one has failed, they are on the right track as long as they have learned from and don’t forget their errors.

there is a japanese proverb, something like... “fall down seven times, get up eight”. when a child learns to walk, they fall down again and again... though, upon observing the act, walking is the art of falling without hitting the ground. it is only when one is comfortable with falling that they can make haste and run. so, be like a child if you must... children aren’t confident, they’re oblivious, yet in being so oblivious to conventions, socially ingrained beliefs, and prejudices, they can teach their elders.


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slw1990
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03 Jan 2018, 6:51 pm

Just today I had to Google how to use a coffee filter and even after reading the directions I still don't think I'm using it correctly. It seems like things that are suppose to be really simple are really hard for me to figure out.



slw1990
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04 Jan 2018, 1:24 am

I'm worried my boyfriend might leave me for someone who' s smarter.



kraftiekortie
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04 Jan 2018, 1:39 am

I can't use a coffee filter. My wife won't leave me because of that.



fluffysaurus
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04 Jan 2018, 3:04 am

slw1990 wrote:
Just today I had to Google how to use a coffee filter and even after reading the directions I still don't think I'm using it correctly. It seems like things that are suppose to be really simple are really hard for me to figure out.


Google explanations confuse me. I use youtube now if I don't know how to do something so that I get a vid of someone doing it. I find it much better and there seems to be someone demonstrating how to do everything.



Trueno
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04 Jan 2018, 3:21 am

Yet another WP topic where I think... so it's not just me then!
My approach to technology is... keep pressing buttons until something happens... if it freezes up, switch it off and switch it on again. I've just ordered a coffee machine that should arrive tomorrow, it's quite a a simple thing, but fun and games for the weekend are assured.
Clearly we are good at some things and not good at others, that applies to the whole world. I suspect we are better at the stuff we are interested in.


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