Did anybody grow up with an intolerant controlling dad?

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I am 33 years old and I still can't stop having nightmares about my dad. I will wake up in the night screaming Fu*k You or DIE and wake myself up doing so. When I was a teenager, and older, my dad was extremely controlling. He would punish me for simply finding out my controversial points of view on any subject matter that he disagreed with. He would spy on my computer, even after I turned 18. He would set up traps and tests where he would ask me how I felt about.... say.... abortion or gay people and if I didnt "answer correctly" he would be like... you're grounded. One time I was like.... Im 20 fu*cking years old you cant ground me and he was like oh yes I can. I started packing my stuff and he was like Im not ALLOWING you to move out. That argument escalated to the point of me calling the police, who told him he has to let me leave. He then told the police that I wasnt allowed to take things that I paid for.... with MY OWN credit card that he DID NOT co - sign for or pay the bills on. The police almost had to restrain him with force but I think at that point he got the message. The police stayed there while I packed and I made sure to get everything electronic plus clothes that I cared about. Just to rub it in my dads face, and because hes such a religious nut job, I made sure he saw me grab an Iomega ZIP disk I had hidden in a hollowed out old computer manual and I told him "you think I'd keep my porn on a hard drive....." Since I knew he had been trying to find out if I looked at porn. Anyways my mom was crying this whole time I gave her a hug and told her i'd e-mail her when I got to my girlfriends house. I got to my girlfriends house and she helped me unload and things have moved on in the last 13 years. I am now married, to a different woman. But I still have nightmares about situations where my dad tries to control me. He thought it was okay during my teen years for him to beat me, hit me and otherwise use violence on me when I had only used verbal provocation. I wish he were dead. The thing is.... its HIS money that my mom used to bail me out of jail once when I was arrested, and its HIS money my mom used to give me a thousand dollars to fix my car, and he has given me money to save my ass so many times i cannot count but I cannot forgive him for the way he treated me.

If anything, I feel he owes me. I have contemplated suing my parents and subpoenaing my sister and brother and mother as witnesses to his behaviour. I wish I could put the dog on the stand. The dog, Peanuts, a beagle, saw pretty much everything that happened at home. In fact she became so afraid of him that when he went to pet her, she would wince and shield her head as if expecting a blow. She did not do that when the rest of us went to pet her.

There is something I want to add and I hope someone responds to this part, it just goes to show how controlling he is. When I was 11 years old, our family was on a Florida vacation. I was showering in the morning and my sister burst into the bathroom to pee just as I had shut off the water to the shower and was about to open the curtain. I was extremely upset and I yelled, "Samantha, Jesus Christ! Can't you hold it long enough for me to dry off and get dressed?" My dad heard me and came in and threw open the curtain and pinned me, naked against the shower wall, while my sister was still trying to pee. He said, "Don't you dare take the name of our sovereign saviour in vain like that, and hey everybody, come see what jeff has between his legs!" My little brother, out in the main hotel room, said, "What?" and my dad replied, "Nothing you don't have" Then he turned to me and said, "You don't get privacy. I can do what I want when I want. Don't you ever complain about privacy again, or I'll knock your head off." I think this is at least two felonies committed here by my father and I want to know if anything can be done. He needs to pay, both financially, and some other way. He needs to be punished for his actions and he needs to know that he was absolutely wrong. He needs to know he failed, and that he was not always right.

Sometimes he would hit me, or take away my computer for stupid things like not remembering the names of people at church, or not singing the hymns at church, or falling asleep in church.
When teaching me to drive, which was extremely difficult for me to learn, and with just my permit and a few hours of practice, he made me drive on I-80/I-94: an extremely dangerous combination highway that runs from northwestern indiana into illinois and splits off into several other highways. People on this highway do not obey the speedlimit in the slightest, and here I am with my dad screaming at me to go faster and keep up with traffic, and the speedometer pegged at 85. After about 3 minutes of this, I exited, over my dad's objection. He grounded me when we got home, despite my mom being pissed at him for taking a 15 year old on the areas most dangerous expressway. I had such terrible memories of that car that when I got my license, I wrecked it by pulling out in front of another car on my way home from school, on purpose. That car hit me it was going about 50, it smashed the front passenger door, broke the axle, windshield and pushed the whole dashboard to the side. I was so happy id never see that car again. my dad kept screaming about how i ruined a 900 dollar car. not even concerned if i was okay. Even my worst enemies at school asked if I was okay. All dad was concerned about was a piece of junk 1991 ford taurus with 254681 miles on it and on its fourth transmission.
I can see I have rambled on quite a bit about my childhood here. Im sorry for that. Im hoping I can get someone who isn't too bored and who can follow my run on sentences to weigh in on this.

You have my sympathy. My Father was/is an ar#e too. Thing is, since Mum died, I'm the only person left that he thinks will act as executor of his will. Hahahaha. He wants to be cremated and I'm all for that but he thinks his ashes are going next to Mums. I hope there is life after death so he can see me dump them in the rubbish bin. I can't wait to do it!

As much as I hate him for how he treated me, I don't think I would go that far, and oddly enough I do not wish him dead. I know I was a handful to raise. But the constant punishment for my thoughts, the constant sex - shaming, and the punishment for not being able to multi - task (drive and pay attention to other drivers) is also inexcusable. Im so confused. he gives me money occasionally now. he saved me from having to spend who knows how long in jail. im so confused.