I looked back at my profile and realized I joined in 2013... And have not touched it since then. Then again... I got a job in between then and now, and I'm just bad at keeping up with things, and I got engaged, and-
Anyway. Hello. I didn't think I'd need this forum again, honestly. I had forgotten about it until recently.
Since leaving, Life has continued and changed; along with the above, I've both Isolated myself and made new friends within that bubble, I've dealt with things I didn't know I'd ever deal with, and I never had to confront things I had dreaded. I honestly thought I could get by without outside support... But that's too pessimistic. I attached myself to a really good NT friend, and he gets to be my bromaid in my wedding now.
But even with family, friends, and a loving fiance, Here I am. Still sitting in my work clothes, at my desk, with my best friend chattering in my headset. Still wondering what my purpose is and where I belong in the world. Then I thought, "Why not express my findings exploring the world I call home"?
I found that airports are loud and stressful; I left my state of beautiful Florida for the first time a few years ago to attend a wedding, and I was both fascinated and horrified at the thought of flying - But it was the terminal that I should have thought about. I had brought gum for the flight, a pillow for my neck that I never actually used because I was too busy poking my nose into the window, and plenty of snacks. What I was not prepared for was the immense amount of people and noise. I was far too aware of the thought of getting lost among endless people, and never be found. But I survived and had a second round when I traveled to Puerto Rico the following year (Much more prepared). Auts take note, bring earplugs if noise sensitive, and be ready to wait for more than you think you will.
I've found that retail is the worst thing in the world to experience when you have little world experience. It has made me bitter and hate people as a whole - But it has made me appreciate the little things; a candy bar on your break, little kids acting right and being nice, seeing a kind regular, working with that one coworker that makes it bearable. Future jobs are going to be easier. Notes: I recommend that retail not be a first job, but if there is no choice, pick stock in the back. You'll see way fewer people, and deal with way less 'customer service'. Also be open to managers with your Autie issues; better that nothing happens and they know, than something happens and they're confused and angry at you.
Scratch the last one, wedding planning is the worst thing in the world. I wanted a venue that on one site was listed as 2,000-3,000, and I got there, went through everything, and the lady winces and tells me that it's 20,000 starting. Heartbroken. Going into something optimistic gave me false hope, and being pessimistic made me depressed and burnt out. Notes: Realism is the way to go, do research but don't let it rule over you. Also worry less, everything will be okay when you're standing in front of them and saying I do.
Drama is BS. Seriously. To all the younger readers, particularly in school; It's way too exhausting. Don't even bother. Be real, don't follow with the run-around BS, cut to the chase. It's okay to let people go if it's way too much work; Think about your own life first. Get things over with; If you sit there worrying about feelings and being pristinely nice, or worrying about consequences, It's never going to get done. Just do it. Stop being afraid of people; say what's on your mind, especially if something is not okay with you. Be honest with yourself first and be open to people about stuff. You'll be happier once you start to destress your life.
Life is better with a few amazing friends than a bunch of people who barely tolerate you. I had to isolate myself to learn this. Goes along with the last. Also, conversely, it's okay to have more than one best friend.
Again, goes with the last; It's okay to take time to isolate yourself. If someone has a problem, it's theirs to deal with, not yours. Quiet time is also okay, not every moment has to be spending time with someone. Take a nap, destress, etc. Think of mental health.
For anyone with depression: Don't sit in your hole. Taking time for yourself is okay, not having energy is okay, but take care of yourself physically too. Walk around, talk to someone (even if it's just saying hi), eat (PLEASE eat), take a bath if you can't give the energy to stand in the shower. I also recommend happy videos; cats, babies, treats, baby cats eating treats. It sounds mundane but it works. I watch a youtuber who vlogs, and he just had a baby, and it helps.
That's it for now, I guess. I'll add more as I think of things. Thank you for reading.
TL;DR Things suck, but things can also not suck if you're ready for them, also baby cats eating treats. Also take care for yourself.
_________________
"I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know." - Emily Dickinson
02 Feb 2018, 11:44 pm
