Am I just wasted sperm?

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I feel like I am just wasted sperm that needs to be disposed of. I am almost 30 and I am so far behind in life. I should be atleast in a long term relationship, have a solid group of friends, have something significant in regards to my interests, and atleast an associate's college degree. Instead, I am single with no prospects of that ever changing, my friendship circle is almost gone, I fail at everything I wish I was good at, and I am a college dropout. I also have undeveloped muscles and can't protect myself from attackers. I was born premature and it was only due to medical technology that I even survived. I feel as if I was supposed to die and that's why I have constant thoughts of death on my mind.

Get a new therapist---and be quick about it.

Nobody is just "wasted sperm" or a "wasted egg."

Especially one who doesn't steal, murder, etc.

I ll be honest, yes you do sound like me years ago, and yes it’s not good.

And yes, any dating prospect would judge you harshly because of this, regarless what the wp’s delusional idealists tell you.

Dating prospects are the most judgemental creatures on earth.

You need to work hard to improve.

You can always donate sperm in sperm bank tho.

I agree that some of us are a waste of life in the world’s eyes.


Yet if we look at our situation without keeping the world’s standards and judgements in view we can see we are worthy of good.

And that’s why we feel even worse by the disadvantages we suffer from the abuse and mind games we are subjected to all our lives or cause by...our deficiencies and mistakes. A cycle that never ends. If you come upon a solution let us know. Personally I have decided my next step.

Believe it or not, I know how you feel.

I sometimes feel like a "waste" because I can't fix stuff in the house, and I can't clean that great, either.

But once my logic-wheels get in motion, I realize that I am worth something----primarily because I don't harm anybody else, and I can conceivably save somebody from drowning or something.

I feel semi-"worthless" now. I just don't feel that great....but then I start howling like a wolf, and entertain somebody. I'm "worth" something then.

I bet it if a huge world war were to break out right now, many Aspies would go for one of two things :

1. Join immediately hoping to die ASAP
2. Let the NT’s join and sit back and enjoy a world with less NTs to face daily

I know this is a childish way to put it but personally I think that’s the best way to go. Be killed off for some supposed cause and hip hip hooray. Easy suicide.

When I saw the title, I thought ''must be another opus by Marknis''. Of course no one would tell you so. Does it even matter, what other people think about you? Think about this: you were born prematurely. You must be very lucky to have survived. You don't need other people's approval. In global scale there are no significant people, were like little ants of a giant colony. But even a little ant is interesting by itself, it has its own adventures. What about you? Will you stop comparing yourself to others? Will you start enjoying your life?
I also dropped out, then entered my current uni. I'm not the best artist, but I enjoy drawing and painting. I'm not the best student and have very little energy, but I enjoy studying. When you look at me, you can't estimate my value. Even if you look at my academic records, you can't fully understand what person I am. Even my parents don't know much about me. And a bunch of strangers, what do they know? You should be your best friend. You should know yourself better than the others.

Marknis please keep fighting for help. Dont give up.
I am in the same mindset as yours and although it is realistic I don’t want either of us to be stuck in that bracket. I am aiming for putting up a good fight to the suicide attempts and Have scheduled appointments for better meds and therapy and seking real life autism support groups. I have also revealed my mindset openly to my family and my brother is coming by to help ms. Please try something like that.
The fact that you keep posting about this shows that u havent Quite given up yet, and want to overcome it. I am the same, please keep trying

So happy to hear that. You are a fighter for real. Obsessive recurring perseveration on one’s problems is an Autistic trait as well as OCD and other stuff. My brother has that too .

It’s a different wiring and ppl don’t usually understand that
I hope to see posts from you in a year about doing better and perhaps recommending treatments n meds that worked

Sweetie, it's okay. You're not a waste... stupid, uncaring "successful" people (conmen, pimps, immoral business men, criminal gang leaders, politicians, presidents, etc.) are a waste of sperm, oxygen and space. Make it your life mission to be a good person, free of bitterness and cruelty, you'll find self-respect, and know that no matter how humble and small your life may seem, you're a better person than the people you envy for their so-called success.