I'm a very negative person and I'm skeptical about everyone. A lot of times, I start having some solid reasons for my feelings but I just build too much up on it, and I tend to be very bad hiding it so I always get in conflict or I end up talking bad things about other to them or to other people. For a moment, I feel everyone and everything is bad and then I feel I'm the bad one. Also, for my habit of talking too much to people who maybe I shouldn't trust, I'm seeing the day I'm going to get f****d up.
I had a very stressing experience with some colleagues from work, and I had a lot of reason but I just start feeding some paranoia they hated me and I start to have very strong negative feelings about. I just acted rude with them because of it but I also talk badly about them to several people, I'm very stressed over now with the fact they may get to know what I talk about them and also about my own rudeness and negativity.
I don't know what to do. It's killing my possibility to be happy.