Please will everybody stop staring at me???

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Joe90
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05 Mar 2018, 6:57 am

Today I keep catching other females staring at me, and it's getting me down. I was waiting at a bus stop with lots of other people in a town, and every b***h that walked by gawped at me like I had 2 heads. I checked myself in the mirror to see if I had anything on my face but I didn't, and my hair looked nice and kempt.

It's very rare that I make eye contact with strangers, because I avoid it, but I can still SEE their gaze in my periphery, and if I do glance up at them, I can tell that they were looking right at me even before I glanced at them, so I know I'm right.

I look presentable but I don't dress out of the ordinary, I'm just a trendy-casual person who prefers to blend into the background, and I look quite shy but not suspicious, so I'd have thought I would give off a "I prefer to not be stared at" expression. But people just stare without caring how I'm feeling. Why won't they stop? I don't look that weird! :roll: There's weirder people than me about who I even look at, like the woman who walked by looking very unkempt and was muttering to herself and seemed like a "threat". But I'm nowhere NEAR like that. I just look normal, like an average neurotypical. Even my family say I always look normal and nice, just like any normal 27-year-old female.

I've had to get my phone out to look distracted with, but I don't like getting my,phone out because of the risk of acid attacks. Ha - if my face WAS burnt off by acid then I don't think I would be stared at any more than I do with a normal face. :roll:


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Tequila
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05 Mar 2018, 7:06 am

Tell them they can take a portrait on their phone so they can look at that instead and it'll last longer. :wink:



smudgedhorizon
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05 Mar 2018, 8:05 am

Why are you wary of acid attacks? Are they frequent where you live?
I think NT just like checking out other people's faces.


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Tequila
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05 Mar 2018, 8:42 am

smudgedhorizon wrote:
Why are you wary of acid attacks?


Should lay off the drugs. :wink:



DancingQueen
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05 Mar 2018, 10:49 am

SAME. Often when I walk down the street people stare at me as they walk past, I have no idea why! I'm not dressed weirdly and I didn't think I looked that bad! :(


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kraftiekortie
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05 Mar 2018, 10:54 am

Hate to say it: it might mean you look GOOD......

I sort of wish women would stare at me more often...sometimes, I need a confidence boost.



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05 Mar 2018, 11:31 am

I wish I could give away the attention I get to someone who wants it. If I go out alone I always have to deal with people looking at me and wanting to talk.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Mar 2018, 12:05 pm

People think I’m too much of a Wolfman to want to talk to me.

I give off a “howling” air, even if I’m quiet and checking out my phone.



sly279
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05 Mar 2018, 1:45 pm

Women always give me nasty looks, like how dare you look at me.



Aniihya
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05 Mar 2018, 3:40 pm

Are you sure they are looking at you? I know paranoid people who think everyone is staring at them. With me, I less get stares and if people do it, I don't really care. I just don't like it when other men touch my butt or I get sexually harassed by men or women (it has happened a couple times before. One even stuck their nose almost in my hair and said my hair smells wonderful). When I stopped smoking, people told me that I smell like a clean woman and I got more unwanted attention. So now I smoke a little again.



Joe90
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05 Mar 2018, 6:17 pm

I've never had sexual harassment, only stupid 13-year-old boys yelling "hi sexy!" across the road, which I don't count as sexual harassment. But I've often been targetted (like being turfed off a bench in a rude manner). Also I've had people yelling out remarks about me, like one time someone yelled out "look at her stupid hat!" to her friend as I walked by wearing a hat on a cold day (the hat was trendy, not odd-looking or not age-inappropriate). I understand people are entitled to their own opinions but I wish they would keep their opinions to themselves. These were grown-ass adults too and I could tell they knew what they were saying.

I try to tell myself that they aren't looking at me, but whenever I dare myself to glance up at a passing stranger I see them gawking at me, and I knew they were staring at me before I looked at them because I could feel it and also see it in my periphery. I just find it unsettling. I never stare at people because I don't want to make them feel self-conscious. Social anxiety is such a common thing among people, and lots of people dislike being stared at by strangers particularly of the same sex, so you'd have thought more people would realise this and not be so intrusive.


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Tequila
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05 Mar 2018, 6:23 pm

I've been groped. It wasn't pleasant. Ask first.



Tequila
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05 Mar 2018, 6:26 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I've never had sexual harassment, only stupid 13-year-old boys yelling "hi sexy!" across the road, which I don't count as sexual harassment. But I've often been targetted (like being turfed off a bench in a rude manner). Also I've had people yelling out remarks about me, like one time someone yelled out "look at her stupid hat!" to her friend as I walked by wearing a hat on a cold day (the hat was trendy, not odd-looking or not age-inappropriate). I understand people are entitled to their own opinions but I wish they would keep their opinions to themselves. These were grown-ass adults too and I could tell they knew what they were saying.

I try to tell myself that they aren't looking at me, but whenever I dare myself to glance up at a passing stranger I see them gawking at me, and I knew they were staring at me before I looked at them because I could feel it and also see it in my periphery. I just find it unsettling. I never stare at people because I don't want to make them feel self-conscious. Social anxiety is such a common thing among people, and lots of people dislike being stared at by strangers particularly of the same sex, so you'd have thought more people would realise this and not be so intrusive.


I wonder how you look. A passing interest crosses me when I read your posts. I'd have no interest in poaching (you're a southerner after all - we fry them in dripping up here) but an inquiring mind would like to know.



Joe90
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05 Mar 2018, 6:40 pm

I look average. 5 foot 6 in height, not too fat nor too thin, brown hair that comes down to just past the shoulders, blue eyes, and I generally wear trendy jeans, trendy boots, and a long-ish black coat with a fur hood. Just average really. I am rather into fashion, so I know how to look presentable and I know what looks good on me and what doesn't. So just because I have Asperger's doesn't mean to say I'm clueless on how to look and act in public. I don't wear much make-up, only lipstick and a bit of blusher. So I don't over or under do anything in my appearance. And I don't do nervous movements like wring my fingers or bite my nails, I just stand straight with my purse (handbag) over my shoulder with one hand supporting the strap and the other hand by my side or in my coat pocket. I just look and act like other women my age do.

And about the acid attacks, there seem to have been a lot of cases of acid being thrown at people's faces in the UK lately, and I'm really frightened it might happen to me. I read in a newspaper that acid attackers are mostly targetting people holding devices like phones in the street.


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Tequila
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05 Mar 2018, 6:45 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I look average. 5 foot 6 in height, not too fat nor too thin, brown hair that comes down to just past the shoulders, blue eyes, and I generally wear trendy jeans, trendy boots, and a long-ish black coat with a fur hood. Just average really. I am rather into fashion, so I know how to look presentable and I know what looks good on me and what doesn't. So just because I have Asperger's doesn't mean to say I'm clueless on how to look and act in public. I don't wear much make-up, only lipstick and a bit of blusher. So I don't over or under do anything in my appearance. And I don't do nervous movements like wring my fingers or bite my nails, I just stand straight with my purse (handbag) over my shoulder with one hand supporting the strap and the other hand by my side or in my coat pocket. I just look and act like other women my age do.


Blast! You didn't take the bait! 8)

Joe90 wrote:
And about the acid attacks, there seem to have been a lot of cases of acid being thrown at people's faces in the UK lately, and I'm really frightened it might happen to me. I read in a newspaper that acid attackers are mostly targetting people holding devices like phones in the street.


Are they random attacks or are the assailants known to the victim? It's mainly a foreign import from less developed places.



kraftiekortie
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05 Mar 2018, 7:47 pm

It's possible that your FEAR that people will stare at you will make people stare at you.

People can sense these things. The lousy ones amongst us take advantage of what they sense.