Standing up to my uncle finally

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Angnix
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26 Mar 2018, 12:03 pm

I've had enough with my uncle thinking he can control us. He said today that a cousin of mine was renting out a place next door to where my cousin lives and we were moving there. He wants to do this because it would be cheaper rent/bills. First of all, this place is further away from where I applied for jobs. If I get hired, if I moved it would add 30 minutes to my commute time, costing me gas. Second, my cousin is not pleasant to be around. He's into drugs and alcohol heavily and I've had to block him from Facebook because he likes to post graphic/sexual things. My uncle says my cousin even used to abuse animals, etc... Third, me and my husband really want to live on our own. My uncle's madd at me now because I disagreed with him, but I don't care. I gotta stands up for myself.


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BeaArthur
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26 Mar 2018, 9:39 pm

Congratulations!


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Angnix
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27 Mar 2018, 7:45 am

He said a couple months ago he wanted to move out of here and leave us here, if I get hired which I should find out in a couple days we will be able to easily pay all bills here by ourselves and I clearly told him that.


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BeaArthur
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27 Mar 2018, 7:50 am

Well good luck on that job - keep us posted. :)


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Angnix
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27 Mar 2018, 3:36 pm

I got hired!! ! To a job where I have to movefor the summer but my husband cant live in the housing they provide. But my uncle is making it clear he doesn't want my husband living here with him without me... So I guess it's his right to say that, but it puts me in a situation where I have to find somewhere for my husband to live.


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BeaArthur
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27 Mar 2018, 4:40 pm

Congratulations! That is such good news!

But why do YOU have to find housing for your husband? Why can't he do that himself? I would think he could pick up a room in a house, or a sublet.


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Angnix
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27 Mar 2018, 5:51 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
Congratulations! That is such good news!

But why do YOU have to find housing for your husband? Why can't he do that himself? I would think he could pick up a room in a house, or a sublet.


My husband is disabled and can't drive and can't take care of himself, but my husband encouraged me with the job because he doesn't want to be a hinderance. I would have to find someone to take care of him. My uncle doesn't want to be responsible for him and that is why he doesn't want my husband here with him without me. I even offered to pay a generous amount of money if he could house my husband and he said no.


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BeaArthur
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27 Mar 2018, 5:58 pm

I see. I don't know how much care he requires, but this could be very expensive if he needs round-the-clock care. If he only needs help with grocery shopping and so on, perhaps he could rent a room near where your summer location is and you can fill in after your business hours. If he needs help with eating and toileting, that is going to be very hard to arrange!

What is the job title you are hired for? I am intrigued!


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Angnix
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27 Mar 2018, 6:53 pm

He's not THAT disabled, he can't use the stove because he had surgeries on his hands and has little sensation and he can't drive so he needs help with cooking and running errands, going to the doctor or other appointments. In fact he knows how to use public transportation, when we lived in town he was getting around by himself pretty good. He dresses and bathes himself and toilets himself okay lol.


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Angnix
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27 Mar 2018, 6:54 pm

Oh the job, educator at a nature center.


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BeaArthur
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28 Mar 2018, 1:06 am

I think that's great, that you got a job that is at least partially aligned with your interests and talents.

Since this is a summer thing (you living at the job), I recommend you look for a summer sublet for your husband, perhaps on a campus. Maybe a room in a shared house. Because people are eager to get away from paying their rent when they leave for summer break, they may be less picky about who they accept to move in. Of course, by the same token, your husband can't be very picky, either. It's only a few months, after all.

Hopefully this will break the cycle of you being involved with your extended family for the basics of life.


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Angnix
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28 Mar 2018, 6:19 am

This job is in fact near a campus, but I looked at one nearby apartment complex and they were charging 1100 a month for a one bedroom apartment which is way too much...


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BeaArthur
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28 Mar 2018, 8:25 am

I agree, that's darn pricey. You'll have to dig deeper by looking in student newspapers, Craigslist, and possibly the campus has a roommate exchange bulletin board (online or physical). You may feel a 1-BR apartment is necessary, but a shared housing situation is more affordable and realistic.


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Angnix
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28 Mar 2018, 10:27 am

I remember when I worked for a major university for two summers in a row first summer I found a bedroom in a three bedroom apartment for only 300 a month, and second summer I found a room in a rooming house near campus for the same price. Actually the nature center is very close to campus so that is a really good idea. The room share I found on Craigslist while the boarding house my boss told me about.


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Angnix
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28 Mar 2018, 11:01 am

Taking a look at Craigslist there seem to be a pretty good amount of rooms in apartments/people's houses in the 350-600 dollar a month range, I might consider it.


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Angnix
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28 Mar 2018, 4:41 pm

My uncle refuses to look after my husband because "he wants a life" and well my husband used to live in a group home but he hated it so I wouldn't send him back there so I really don't know what to do. Kinda sucks my uncle originally agreed to it then backed down.


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