The Gender discussions on L&D are harming me

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In the L&D forum, there have been threads made discussing about gender roles/dynamics, and it's harming me. I am sometimes losing hope for decent chances of success because of the way the "system" is supposed to work, and I will guess it's now been corrupted to the point where many people of either gender are the higher dominant in the world buying into this "system" and I can only expect the disparity to widen. I'm also not big on people trying to say I actually am disrespectful to the opposite gender. I'm not the only one who feels lost from it, even though I try to remain positive or practical on it.

The most practical thing to do is to stay away from toxic forums like L&D.

There are a lot of angry and frustrated people who vent on internet forums.

It's a very male dominated forum, and some threads seem intended to bait women members. This is regrettable. It tends to spread more darkness than light, and I am sure that when Alex created it, his intentions for it were very different, ie mutual support for all members, however this is not the case. Lately it largely functions for a minority of males here (with some chip on their shoulders about women usually) to recruit male supporters of the same mindset to "prove" that they themselves are innocent victims of conniving women, because (in their view) all women are more flawed than they are, and they see themselves as being completely objective observers. I haven't noticed any objectivity there though, and objectivity has no chance with pre-determined mindsets that are looking to blame others.. the slide into gender bigotry happens that way.

I can understand that you find it toxic and you are far from alone. It generates the most complaints to moderators on most weeks. Best avoided.

Many of the posters there tend to think that women are weaklings who are good for nothing but sex, babymaking and Playboy.

Yes, some see women as human beings who should be fillers for their own desires, as if it was an obligation which comes with the condition of being female. It's a view that was prominent in the 1950s. Hence their outrage at the third wave of feminists. They also seem to understand little about the first and second waves, and dismiss the earlier struggles as irrelevant - to history and to themselves. Feminism was accumulative and is one long struggle where all three phases are connected.

I think love and dating are constantly evolving and nobody knows as much about it as they think they do.

I've stopped going in that part of the forum because quite a few of the posters there come across as lacking any ability to see other points of view and so it is marred by somewhat extreme viewpoints.

Also some people there post good points but they often express them bluntly and with no politeness, even to the point of basically provoking people. So I feel that part of the forum has an unhealthy culture of aggression.

There's no shortage of female members systematically twisting everything a male member says about lack of success getting romantic or sexual relationships into a denial of women's problems or some other kind of narrative against women, either. It's been repeatedly proven impossible to engage them in any meaningful debate, as they just keep ignoring whatever you actually say and reply to an entirely different discussion happening only in their heads.

Then don't go there? It's a toxic s**t hole full of angry "children". I say children because they come off as acting like children who have temper tantrums when they don't get their way.

I advise asking people for clarification in these situations. I have had similar thoughts sometimes but when I asked for clarification they weren't actually trying to be toxic, it can be due to miscommunication leading to wrong impression. And then even if it is deliberate toxicity aka Trolling, it will be extremely evident to the moderators.

The only cases(I am talking of observations from forums about the L&D topic elsewhere) that would appear genuinely toxic to me would be either from radical feminists or fringe PUA(people who really put aside morals for the Game). But so far I haven't encountered any here, perhaps I am just lucky so far.

I haven't really seen too much that I would consider harmful, save for the odd thread that gets locked for bickering about gender stereotypes.

I'm trying to understand what the OP's stressing about. Is it that most people still identify with a particular gender and it's societal norms instead of being "non-binary," or "gender non-conforming," ?? that sort of thing?

Well, if so.. newsflash: Most people still identify as cis-gendered male/female and fall into gender roles that have evolved over many thousands of years. There's also a growing number of "gender-neutral," types in society these days, and others are more tolerant of them than ever, so I don't really agree with the OP suggesting the gender norms are becoming even more polarized. If anything, they're blurring. Boys are wearing makeup and women are electricians on construction sites.

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