Identifying as an Aspie: Why embracing your diagnosis matter

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Although the idea that the title tries to deliver might sound superfluous to some aspies out there; with hindsight, such an idea could've made the last seven years of my life much more peaceful. That being said, I do not disregard those years because I value their outcome.

Acknowledging the fact that I have Asperger Syndrome –through self-diagnosis– was generally uneventful; except for a short story partially based upon the subject, setting up an account on this very platform and having something to talk about with my few friends back then. So, it is safe to say that it did not have a significant impact on my life at that time, and it certainly did not affect the way I look at myself.

How did my 'few' friends feel about it? Well, it is hard for me to imagine how others feel in general. Not for lack of trying though! Especially with people that I genuinely care about, as I keep trying to the point where it gets too involved to imagine how they might perceive me any my revelations. However, I believe they thought I was merely begging for their attention. And I honestly do not blame them for that because I understand now that it is easy and quite frequent to mistake exposing oneself for attention-seeking. Moreover, people tend to misunderstand –and even in some cases, take advantage of– vulnerability.

Learning about yourself takes time. And that is probably why the mere diagnosis changed almost nothing back then! It needed to take the form of a process, in order for me to make something useful out of it. In addition, I did believe I could change it; a belief that got augmented by the fact that I cared too much about how others might think of me –which is obvious in the previous paragraph–. I also did not want to be using my diagnosis as an excuse for poor performance, especially when I did not fully trust my diagnosis as it was not professional.

One of the reasons why I doubted my diagnosis was the fact that my English was not so good at that time. My vernacular was too limited for me to comprehend everything about Asperger's other than its signs which were surprisingly accurate! Although AS is characterized by normal cognitive and linguistic development –with a peculiar use of language which logically requires significant progress to develop–, that was particularly true regarding my mother tongue; Arabic. Furthermore, online Arabic content on the subject is limited.

The second reason had to do with my excessive dependence upon social media where it gets tempting to adopt a false bravado even when you are as real as it can possibly get! Now, it is convenient to mention that I think social media is not necessarily ideal for the majority of us. I do realize some aspies make a good use of it; some even turn it into a business through YouTube channels for example, which is not a bad approach per se –as they are raising awareness about the subject–, but that is the sole positive side of adaptation that I can think of.

The negative sides of adaptation; on the other hand, are overlooking the significance of the diagnosis, disregarding AS as a crucial factor in identifying oneself, and/or trying to modify and adjust some of its characteristics –some of one's key characteristics! –. . I tried maintaining an eye-contact, getting more social and approaching strangers outside social media. I realize now that I was merely trying to be somebody else! Which leads us to how I learned about AS.


When I graduated high-school, I had just two friends and each one of us joined a different college. I felt so isolated and I needed company. That was the first time when I tried to be somebody else. It felt exhausting and unnatural. Then I started to research my social issues in the light of my previous academic achievements, lack of relationships or relationships that keep failing, difficulty maintaining an eye-contact and my peculiar use of language. Finally I learnt something new about myself; I have Asperger Syndrome!

The last seven years, I kept learning more about myself and I started struggling with anxiety and clinical depression. It did not seem right or fair to me until I revisited the subject of Asperger's recently, practically reconnecting with whom I truly am deep inside. And it was so emancipating this time that I decided to write about it after a hiatus of four years since the last short story I have authored. When I found out that aspies are more inclined to suffer from anxiety and depression, I became more compassionate towards myself.

So this is essentially my message; even if you are self-diagnosed –especially in a developing country like Egypt where mental illness is still stigmatized–, embracing your diagnosis and maintaining an 'Aspie Mindset' all the time matter. It can be emancipating and change the way you treat & look at yourself.

You might have the privilege of a professional diagnosis and consequently a professional management of AS psychological co-morbidities; and surely I am not discarding the value of this approach especially in childhood and adolescence, but I am talking from an adult's point of view who had absolutely no access to managing them except through learning more about them and about AS and getting to know himself in the process on a more intimate, understanding and sympathetic level.

I tried posting this subject as an article but I couldn't. . I posted it on Parenting on the Spectrum's FaceBook Group though

And I thought I should post it here as well. .

I agree with the importance of knowing you are autistic and the long travel that awaits you once you know it.

The thing is there is not many treatments / therapies really adapted to adults with autism because autism is still not well known enough yet.

Which comorbidities could not be treated well without an autism diagnosis?

It's important to know you are autistic, to understand, manage and improve yourself better. But why ask a professional to confirm when they don't even have a clue of how to help you?