Not sure if Ill be okay

Post Reply New Topic

Does anyone else not know how to unclog a toilet? I suck at it. Does anyone else not know computer maintenance ? I suck at that too. I get a lot of help from my parents. When they're gone not sure what Ill do. I have a neighbor that Ive been putting off hanging out with. Socializing tends to drive me nuts and I prefer to be alone. But I do get lonely sometimes and sometimes I need help with things. Does anybody think its a bad idea to hang out with this neighbor? My dad would probably appreciate it if he didnt have to drive all the way into town to unclog a toilet. My neighbor could do that for me. But he would probably like it if we hung out as friends rather then me just asking for favors from him. So I dont know I would like to be alone but maybe its not a good plan. Even still my neighbor could move away and there Id be alone again with no help.

Does anyone else here have a hard time doing certain things and rely on others for support?

People have warned me to stay away from group homes but when my parents are dead I will be stranded.

I wish I had some advice to offer, but I can at least tell you that you aren't alone. I also don't know how to unclog a toilet, or really do any sort of home repair/maintenance beyond changing a lightbulb. I don't really know how to do anything on the computer besides using the Internet and playing games - if something goes wrong with it, I don't have a clue what to do, besides trying to restart it. I too am still completely dependent on my parents. I can't even drive - my mom has to take me everywhere. About the neighbor, I can't really say if it's a good idea or not to try to hang out with him or not, since I don't know anything about him, but you're right that he'd probably like to hang out and get to know you before you start asking him for favors - and you're also right that if you do those things, he will quite possibly be able and willing to help you out. But I also completely understand wanting to be alone and not feeling up to all the social interaction that would be involved in starting a friendship, or at least friendly-acquaintanceship, and it's also possible he isn't interested in being friends. I'd probably suggest giving it a try, if you can bring yourself to - but I also completely understand that it can take a lot of energy and courage to try to initiate a friendship with someone. Big dragon hugs for you

Last edited by dragonsanddemons on 27 Apr 2018, 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you so much for the reply. Yes it is very difficult for me to socialize. But Im sure my parents would appreciate it if it wasnt just them helping me out.

Its unfortunate that I feel more sane when Im alone!

I depend on my parent for a lot of things as well. My mother pays the bills and handles my money for me because 1) I am gullible so people can take advantage of me when it comes to money and 2) I have trouble dealing with forms and stuff. I also have no idea how to really do home repair/maintenance maybe besides keeping a house clean...sort of.

I never learned how to cook and I struggle with going to the grocery store which is another thing my mother does for me. I would also be in bad shape should something happen to my mother. As for talking with your neighbor, I would have no advice to give. I struggle terribly when it comes to social situations and can't tell what you suppose to do at what moment when socializing.

For me its not really the socializing part that bothers me. Its the fact that it distracts me from other things that I need to get done.

Some states have programs that provide assistance to people on the spectrum who need help with things like paying bills, shopping, minor home maintenance, etc. There is usually a long waiting list, but may as well get on the wait list now, because you are right, your parents won't be around forever. Most programs allow you to choose who is working with you and when and what kind of help you want. You can PM me if you want more information.

The problem with relying on one or two people for help is that it's always possible that they would move away, die, get a new job with a lot of overtime, or in some other way become unavailable.

Very gradually, learn what resources are available to you in the community as well as develop some friendships. An example of a community resource is, your landlord or building manager could help you unclog a toilet. A home service worker like blazingstar mentioned is another such helper. You might feel good about joining a church or other group, and developing some connections there.

Remember that I said "very gradually." You don't need to do this all at once. But it's a good idea to slowly work in that direction.

I think you can learn to do a lot of these things on your own.

To unclog a toilet...

1. Make sure you have the right plunger. For toilets, use one similar to the one on the left in the photo below. The one on the right is a sink plunger.



2. Make sure the bowl has at least a normal level of fluid. If most of the water has drained out of the bowl, flush the toilet. This will cause the water level to rise but probably not overflow at this point, but you may have to start step 3 fast to prevent that.

3. Position the plunger in the bowl with the cup down in the hole and plunge quickly and forcefully but only lift it enough to bring it a little less than back up to the starting position. Your goal isn't to drag the clog out of the hole but to dislodge it just enough so the water can start flowing around it and wash it down. The motion should be high frequency but low amplitude.

You should hear it start to dislodge and the water start to flow, at which point the water level will begin to drop and you will hear a draining sound. When the water level gets very low again, flush once more to see if it's cleared.

Most American houses don't have them but there are actually toilets that don't clog with normal use. A well know brand of "no clog" toilets is Caroma.

As for computer maintenance, most people have no idea how to maintain their computer. I don't do nearly as much computer maintenance as I used to because it's not necessary. I used to have to clear temp files and defrag my hard drive in an effort to free HD space or improve performance but these days I just have to occasionally clear my browser cache and cookies and scan it for viruses and malware when I think it might be infected.

I think you can learn to do a lot of these things on your own.

To unclog a toilet...

1. Make sure you have the right plunger. For toilets, use one similar to the one on the left in the photo below. The one on the right is a sink plunger.



2. Make sure the bowl has at least a normal level of fluid. If most of the water has drained out of the bowl, flush the toilet. This will cause the water level to rise but probably not overflow at this point, but you may have to start step 3 fast to prevent that.

3. Position the plunger in the bowl with the cup down in the hole and plunge quickly and forcefully but only lift it enough to bring it a little less than back up to the starting position. Your goal isn't to drag the clog out of the hole but to dislodge it just enough so the water can start flowing around it and wash it down. The motion should be high frequency but low amplitude.

You should hear it start to dislodge and the water start to flow, at which point the water level will begin to drop and you will hear a draining sound. When the water level gets very low again, flush once more to see if it's cleared.

Most American houses don't have them but there are actually toilets that don't clog with normal use. A well know brand of "no clog" toilets is Caroma.

As for computer maintenance, most people have no idea how to maintain their computer. I don't do nearly as much computer maintenance as I used to because it's not necessary. I used to have to clear temp files and defrag my hard drive in an effort to free HD space or improve performance but these days I just have to occasionally clear my browser cache and cookies and scan it for viruses and malware when I think it might be infected.

When I can't figure something out, I always go to the Internet to search for answers. Google's search algorithm has been changed in the past decade or so to find answers to questions, rather than actual search results. So you can type "how do I ____" and lots of tutorials from YouTube/eHow/Yahoo! Answers/etc. will pop up.

If you can't find any answers, there are other sites where you can go to ask questions, or you could even ask people here at WP.

I feel like we really should have a section, or a Wiki or something, where we can share life tips/advice that NTs all take for granted. And we could rate answers by how easy they are for us spectrumites to handle (for example, an automated phone service or website vs. talking to real people or showing up in person). And it would be a safe place where people don't have to feel embarrassed about asking "stupid questions", or maybe they could even ask anonymously.

I've always been very mechanically inclined, but for some reason, I've just never been into cars, and I always ask my dad for help (but he usually doesn't have time). I've done some minor things here and there, but I think it would probably help if I actually had the right tools for the job ¬_¬

Taking it to a professional is just too stressful for me to think about I can barely tolerate pumping gas (I will go out of my way to always use the same gas station every time), and I get maybe one or two oil changes per year.

Sarah is Canadian.

?

Well, that explains why she doesn’t know how to unclog a toilet then. J/k

I said it so Canadians can help her out as far as social services is concerned.

There is always a reason for my madness.

Omg, my neighbor moved away today! Thats to bad he would have made a good friend. Im really sad today. I dunno maybe someone else will move in that I can be friends with.

We'll all move in!