Substance abuse and addiction

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I recently came across a book on Amazon about autism and addiction/alcoholism. This seems like it might be a popular topic but I haven't found (Correction: I found one) any mention of it on this site. I think that substance abuse can be a solitary thing, but it can also open up the door to a whole other world of social opportunities. I feel that some with ASD who don't have many friends may find it exceptionally hard to quit using/drinking and lose the friends they may have made. The book mentions self-medicating as a way of coping. I agree this can seem like an insurmountable challenge. I have had substance issues of my own, and drinking buddies were always easy to find, I would challenge people to a drinking contest and then I had an excuse to get wasted. Anyway, I hope to hear more thoughts from other people on these things.

People use substances as self-medication for emotional pain very commonly. Being members of a stigmatised, marginalised minority group, AS people experience a lot of needless emotional and psychological pain from being treated badly. I don't believe that AS people are predisposed to addiction any more than normative groups are. I do think that they are targets for rotten treatment far more often, by normative dominant groups, like bullying, exclusion, gratuitous insults, and so on. I also think the rate of unrecognised PTSD on the spectrum is high. It is very common for undiagnosed, unsupported PTSD sufferers to use substances to zone out. It is understandable, but it is a rocky road that leads to some darker places for many. Social isolation is another concommitant to addiction.

This is why groups like Wrong Planet are important. Here people can find validation, understanding and support (most of the time) and they are powerful inputs in beginning recovery from addiction.

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Last edited by Raleigh on 07 May 2018, 12:47 am, edited 2 times in total.

Yes I agree that aspies have to deal with haters. I've gotten the impression so far though, that this forum isn't exempt from hostile posts/replies. Some people seem defensive. It's nice to have a forum to commiserate with others like you, but I guess nothing's perfect. I wish it was a little more lively though, I've been on here every day for like a week posting stuff hoping to meet new people to talk to.

For me, heavy drinking began when I left home and started university. I never felt so out of my depth in my life as I did then. I quickly realised that everyone else seemed to treat alcohol as a "magic potion" to increase sociability and find the courage to flirt, and so I succumbed to the idea that it would work that way for me too (I didn't find out about my autism until nearly 30 years later.)

This didn't work out as intended - I still found myself never really fitting in, confused by the rules and rituals of socialising and dating, and having increasingly severe meltdowns because I wanted to force myself to be normal and wouldn't ever consider making a "tactical retreat" from social situations. When it dawned on me that my social skills were just innately lacking, depression really got into overdrive, and things went rapidly downhill. I began drinking alone in my bedsit to the point of blackout, only to begin drinking again as soon as I finished retching my guts up when I awoke. I made myself seriously ill; not just from the excess alcohol, but also because I could not take care of myself at all - I ate almost nothing, was constantly bankrupt, and avoided homelessness by the skin of my teeth several times.

I destroyed a lot of potential friendships through my obnoxious behaviour and selfishly putting people in very difficult situations. My reputation as a boozer meant that autistic traits such as my melt-downs and shut-downs were always assumed to be alcohol induced blackouts or "the alcohol talking". My last ditch efforts to get people to be friends with me were often little more than emotional blackmail - including threatening suicide (ironic, as I was, in fact, slowly killing myself.) Screwing up the few sociable aspects of my life that I did have just made me want to drown my sorrows even more, so the vicious circle went on.

Attempts to stop the drinking came with their own social problems. I live in a culture where, particularly for young people, alcohol is accepted as the norm. No matter what is being celebrated, it seems that going to a noisy pub/bar on the busiest night of the week to get drunk is the default way to celebrate. I just couldn't join in and remain sober; always the pressure to "just have one or two" (I couldn't, alcohol only came in the quantities "none" or "all of it" for me), and I just didn't find other drunks pleasant to be around when I was sober (a taste of my own medicine, so to speak.) I came to resent the people around me, both for being able to enjoy something which was destroying me, and for their apparent assumption that sociability necessarily involved environments and situations that I couldn't handle.

I won't pretend that this is the answer for everyone, but the thing that helped more than anything was getting into caving. It was a total escape from the world of "civilisation", and the alien environment meant that everyone was "on a different planet" together - the "up top" social rules took a back seat. I took to it to the point of becoming a trainer and trip leader - looking back, I realise that it became a "special interest". The consequences of a slip up because of alcohol or a hangover were too extreme to contemplate, teaching me the self-control that I so badly needed. Through this, I also learned to set up my own social gatherings from time to time - positive events in my life are celebrated with countryside walks, picnics, barbecues etc. and I've managed to pull a few friends around me who celebrate their lives in similar ways.

I still consider myself an alcoholic. I can happily go weeks or months without a drink, and I have absolute rules that I don't drink alone and don't keep alcohol in my home (using my autistic black/white thinking about rules to my advantage, maybe). However, I do still drink socially from time to time, as the pub/bar is still an important part of the social lives of many people. I can now quite enjoy being a bit "tiddly", but the "all or nothing" binge mentality usually shows itself after a drink or two. However, it is a very long time since I got myself into any serious bother or ended up with my head down the toilet, and I think that this has come from the self-control learned from taking on serious responsibility for others when caving, and my willingness to make a "tactical retreat" when I begin to feel that I'm pushing it too far or I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by the situation.

Caving is nice....and it always seems to be about 12C on average.

Great story, Mr. Trogluddite, who might like the Troggs.

I have played "Wild Thing" a few times back when I was playing in bands, and it's one of the very few songs I would even consider doing if I were forced to do a karaoke. A proper "proto-punk" song, I always think.

Thanks for providing the wisdom of your experience, T. You made it to continual sobriety. You did it. Champion

Thankyou B19, that's very kind of you.
And thanks to magicrabbit too - drawing the connection between desperation for friendship and the cycle of addiction was just the right "missing piece" to help me tell my story coherently. I see the management of addiction as much like depression or anxiety; it is too often treated as a condition which can be treated in isolation, without attempting to figure out what social or emotional issues contribute to continuing the cycle or relapse.