I'm more ill and crippled than I look:-(.

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I am more I'll, with my illnesses, and handicapped with my essentially permanent conditions than, I think, people, especially social services people realize. I am not speaking of AS or my money or emotional state. I mean that my crippledness affects me more than social services realizes. I think I could get housing, maybe, if I make people see this more concerning me. How to? I'll detail this more later

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You need to get a diagnosis from a doctor stating your level of disability. They don't go by looks or by attempts to convince, they go by official diagnosis. I know this because of services I have obtained which are based on my diagnosis, not how I look.

Yeah, been there, done that... but apparently with more succes than you when it comes to making my doctors believe me. The fact that I was born disabled helps; there's all kind of dark and depressing stuff in my medical history that the doctors have easy access to. That and when ever I deal with this kind of official business I have my mom with me who's been handling this stuff for me over twenty years... I know it's about time for me to learn to handle these things on my own and I'm trying my best, but it ain't that easy.

The most frustrating part about my disability, aside from all the trouble it causes in my every day life of course, is that you can't tell I have it or anything else by just looking at me unless you know what signs to look for... or well, some who've been in contact with me longer can see that something is off, but usually they brush it off as me having a weak body because I'm lazy and don't exercize enough instead of realizing that it was something I was born with. There are times when pretty much anyone can tell that something's off and badly, but usually during times like that I'm already waiting for a new surgery.

...Thank you both. Here's an example of my crippledness - This motel room has two steps up into it, a concrete step off of the street, then going further up to get into the actual room from the concrete step into the actual room. In both cases - Yes, I get in, but I have to kind if vault/push myself. It is an effort. I tend to have to put down whatever I'm carrying, then rather push myself onto the first step . Then, after unlocking the door, to get into the actual room I rather hold onto the knob/ooening and PULL myself in! I can't really wear a big backpack anymore like I did for sometime, it really gives me back pain . Actually it seems that maybe if I'm out and up too long I get back pain. Walking a city block - and I mean a Santa Cruz block, not a New York or Chicago one - might take me 7-10 minutes. Maybe - maybe - 5 if I'm particularly energetic. I just am slow . Taking four steps in a flat medical office, where I do see people, doesn't make that apparent. I do tend to plod along regardless when walking, so maybe I don't appear all that handicapped. On the toilet, getting up from a seated position - There are no " pull-yourself-up " bars - is a real effort, I am barefoot, on a wet floor, and I am afraid of falling onto that hard floor .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I personally have no doubt that you are in severely bad shape and in very poor health, which is getting progressively worse. And I wonder when all that daily straining you do will end up giving you a stroke or heart attack. That's why I keep saying I think you should accept that offer of a nursing home you mentioned.

...Well, my inner puritan/WASP tends to think it's good to keep going/walk on, if you don't overdo it. Isn't exercise good for you?
To-day, things went nicely and I didn't't I retire myself, so I felt more decent when got back and getting up the two stooos was easier.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...There Ian"t any offer now anyway. But, I rather do t whether I'd get much rest in a rest home - I think that staff would endlessly wake me up when they thought I was asleep, " to give me a pill ", " to check on something " and say " you can get back to sleep " - The fact is, it's generally difficult for me to get to sleep, and I generally sleep in maybe 3 or so periods of waking up and going back to sleep, and that"s on my own schedule - With someone else"s schedule, and with a roommate-:-(.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!