Feelings of Hopelessness reactivated

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A girl ghosted on me recently and that left me disappointed because she seemed like a good fit for me. Not did that left me disappointed but it also left me feeling hopeless again. I already feel like a outcast from society and now her disappearing on me feels like hope is being taken away from me. Hope of feeling normal, Hope of happiness, Hope of good memories and etc. All of my life, I never had something to make me feel human like friends or girlfriends. Looks like its going to stay like that for even longer (or maybe forever). I just want something normal

I know you do.

Just seek out other people.

Sorry you were ghosted.

There are plenty more fish in the sea I felt similar to that when I was 20. When you meet someone (yes I said "when"), be very careful not to get sucked up in the moment and marry the first one you meet....UNLESS you are sure about it. I met a girl when I was about 20 and from the moment I met her, all kinds of emotionally unstable flags went up in my head about her. I ignored the signs and ended up marrying her about 3 years later. She was my first GF so I was in for a bumpy ride on the relationship roller coaster. I was so afraid of being alone that I put up with years of craziness and such.

I"ll stop my ramble but my main point was to make sure you are 100% committed before making a decision about marriage.