Marknis wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Marknis wrote:
After dealing with a bitchy and petulant co-supervisor for 12 years, I finally snapped at her. I don't care if I get in trouble, I have the right to protect myself and I am sick of being treated like a sub-human.
It all started with another worker asking me a stupid question. She called asking if someone from another location could "use" the library. I didn't know what she meant by that and I asked her to elaborate. She asked if someone outside of the city could get a library card and I told her that they could if they brought their picture ID with them.
A couple hours later, she told the co-supervisor I told her that this person couldn't get a library card despite telling her that they indeed could.
The co-supervisor then confronted me and asked me what I told her. After explaining myself, she rejected what I said and accused me of lying. She brought up what the other worker said (Both of these women have had it out for me for years) again and I replied, "No, that is BS!" because I was so exasperated at that point. Throughout the day she had been on my case and I had enough of it. She then reported me to the director and I had to talk to her what happened. She said she understood that I was having a bad day but still gave me a lecture. She then said she would talk to my supervisor and I tomorrow.
This person (the co-supervisor) is largely why I hate my job and feel stressed out daily. I have talked to my supervisor about her behavior but it's generally met with debate as well as foot dragging.
Would it not be better to quit and find another job rather than to get fired and find another job?
I've wanted to quit but my control freak mother sabotages my efforts and because I don't have a college degree my prospects are slim.
And how does she do that?
Guilt tripping, catastrophizing, and using my low self-esteem against me. Oddly, she claims she moved out to get away from my long deceased grandfather because she said he was abusive. I never knew my grandfather because he died when I was 2 but if he was truly abusive as my mother claims, she doesn't seem to realize she is behaving like him.
Marknis there will always be people in the world who use such tactics to attempt to manipulate people, intentionally or not; but regardless, as a grown adult of sufficient cognitive capacity, you are the master of your own actions.
I think what you want is support in your decisions from your mother; for her to say "it's ok" to put at ease your lack of confidence or at least so you do not feel stressed that you are at odds with her. But no one has their parents' full support in anything and a person needs to be their own person in spite of that. My mother didn't want me to move out, but I did anyway. My mother thought when I first started exercising, I started too hard. She thinks I walk too far to work and when I chose my field of study, she thought it was too hard, and she didn't understand why I decided to put some furniture together myself rather than hire someone to do it. But she thought all of these things because they were hard, scary things
for her. Some were a little difficult and scary for me as well, but if I heeded her wishes I would have been fat and miserable that I did not follow my ambitions in life.
Most mothers will always worry that their child is making the wrong choice in life and will never agree 100% with everything their child does. At some point a person has to set off on their own in life regardless and also take responsibility for their decisions, within reason.
It's ok to not always have your mother's support in everything you do.
04 Sep 2018, 6:10 pm
