All I can do is work.

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I guess some part of me realized yesterday that I'm just going to be curled up in my little metaphysical corner until some things change. The people who really matter to me are extremely difficult to contact so I'll just wait.

The only solution to this is patience. I guess I'm irrelevant until technological needs dictate otherwise.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I mean honestly I can't really say I have any personal life whatsoever right now. Practically nil. I know I should be around people more but there's nobody interested.

Maybe it's just because it's Monday but my entire life feels pointless. I'm too frigidly logical for pretty much everyone I love.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

The work of his hands the expanse is telling.

i told this to another person, i will tell this to u, anything u care about, is worth caring about. contact can be achieved via internet. i can say, that my real life contact is cut to 3 family members (2 of them showing up rarely, and not being really into hearing me and my little problems out, and 1 is 4 years old and wouldnt leave me alone for a second, no matter how close to a meltdown i am. she is too small to understand), and some half-strangers i have to "casually" interact with on my way around the block. sounds bad? well, thats what i can handle. or more than i can handle. but i have friends. friends that cant come over, all but 1 dont even live in a same country, i have seen pics of some of them, but i havent met them face to face. it does not matter. they care. they read what i write. its not like family does not, but well. its hard. NT close contact issues, ya. cant do that, neither of us.it feels isolated as hell when it happens. but well, its just nothing but miscommunication. our loved ones do care. they just dont know how to make it known to us.so, deep space to cberg, reach down and find the belief that u cant back up with perception. its true. sorry, i am thin today myself. every time a person would start talking to u in a chat, its because they care. and when nobody is online, isolation hits, but its TEMPORARY. we just cant raise things. a glimpse. i explain to my mother how a stimtoy works for me, and she would just say - u need it, fine, do it. i feel brushed away, but all she wanted to show was acceptance. miscommunication. lack of endorphine in the system. every time u feel alone its because well, we do that. i think it happen to NT too. they just dont get so focused on a harming moment. they have more consistent perception of surroundings. maybe. cmon, give it a twirl. get a cake. sugar rush allways helps it, even if not much. overload ur 5x sensorum a bit. then u be coming down from it and by then u feel different, just dont overdo it, i think u know) i know that u know that i know. lets believe we can fly.

I really appreciate it but part of the trouble is that I'm the offline one in many ways. I hack gadgets & often if not usually work in big tech business settings of one kind or another so I only talk to friends in the *very* occasional text or encrypted messaging.

Basically the most social thing I have coming up is a hackathon at work.

@ Raleigh: I think I only groked about half of that though it's appreciated anyway.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

@serpentari:
By the way, I can teach you geospatial packets if you can teach me 3dsmax.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

cberg, im not turning down a friendly offer, but i kinda have a lot of things of 3dmax to learn more) then, adjacent programs. im not a pro at that xd plus i dont really understand how to teach things like that via sporadic text communication( it requires a lot of practice. and then, the thing u are offering must require some beforehand knowledge i most likely dont have. my knowledge in IT sphere is badly dated((( but i have a feeling ur mood had gone a bit better, which sounds great)

I don't see what's wrong with this. "Workaholism" is a virtue. There's no such thing as a free lunch in this life; those who want to succeed must work - endlessly, tirelessly, to the point where the work becomes torture. The lazy oneas end up the mediocre underachievers. Personally, I consider myself a workaholic - in relative terms - but still not nearly enough.

Think of work as preparation for playing. It is a lot easier to have fun and socialize if you have money saved up from working!

well u got a real, solid, and even paying focus in ur life. i think its really something)

I studied computer vision but never did anything practical with it.