I dont want to be drinking

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I dont want to be drinking at all. But for some reason I do. I think it is a terrible waist of money and not good for the body. But I find it hard to hold myself back on the rare chance I have money. Are there any techniques you guys have to stop the urge to drink? Im just a lonley bachelorette and I drink my lonleyness away...

If you watched my brother-in-law dying of Cirrhosis of the Liver because of his drinking, this might deter you from drinking.

I had to watch him die.

Alcoholics Anonymous and their 12-Step Program work for some people.

Kraftie thats horrible. Yeah your probably right.

I know you indicate in your thread title that you don't want to be drinking, but do you REALLY want to stop and can't?

To "drink something away" is why many of us used alcohol too much. The answer to your question is that you have to decide to want to stop. The fear of the thing you're drinking to avoid will make it difficult to make that decision.

I drank too much for a long, long time. At first just too much and then, later, more than too much. It stopped working. For many years, it worked fine, but in the end I was unable to stay in denial about what failure I was. Aspies often feel like failures.

It's been over a decade since I quit, and everything is better. I'm still more or less a social failure, but I have a lot more appreciation for what I am good at.

Someone mentioned 12 step programs. You could try that, but you have to make a decision for yourself for it to work. They won't make it for you.

That's what I was getting at by asking if she really wanted to stop.

The alcoholic gene runs in my family and although I didn't succumb to alcoholism, I have a very addictive personality. Without sharing details, I learned in my life, as addicts will often say, you can only stop if you really want to. It's so true that no one can make you stop, help you stop, etc if you yourself haven't decided that you've had enough and that you're finally "sick and tired of being sick and tired".

Sarahsmith, what do you think about the idea of seeking out an AA meeting near you? What if you ended up meeting some other people that knew what you were going through?

Yeah, if you're lonely, this would be a good way to meet other people who are not drinking... might help you

Let out all the pain.

You feel loss. It's okay to feel that. Don't be afraid to feel sad. Let the emotion run its course and then you can move on.

Don't let depression distract you from the people around you though. It's fine to feel upset, just remember one door closes, another opens.

You've lost a path you wanted, or a person you wanted, something. You're mourning. When you're ready there is a new path, a new person waiting.

I used to drink heavily from loneliness, depression, loss of purpose, etc. What helped was getting in touch with my feelings (an answer no one here really wants, but it's true). Even years later, I could see where I'd start to chug water after a stressful interaction with someone. I realized that I basically drank to drown my soul, and to create false happiness instead of feeling and accepting pain. Ironically, the drinking just made more pain instead of helping me avoid the pain I should have addressed. It's a very short term "medicine" for deeper problems. So it might help you to accept and feel pain in your life--to understand what it is you're using alcohol to avoid. Alcoholism will only increase and distort the pain you already feel, and create new problems for you.

Dude, alcohol can be as addictive as any drug you might find for sale on the street. The cravings are real, the withdrawal symptoms are real, and the struggle to overcome the addiction is very real.

Well...Though I too struggled with addiction, I can't say I have experience with alcohol specifically. hmmm.

If I may ask, how did you first get involved with alcohol?

I'm fully aware of that. There are only two ways an addict will stop using: 1) An outside force/person prevents any access to the substance (e.g. prison, rehab). 2) The addict actually decides to take the measures necessary to stop and acts on it and then continues to act on it every day, minutes, etc (ie "recovering).

"I don't like being [ ]. I should probably stop using sometime."
"I can see that [ ] is ruining my life. I know it is. I hate this."
"I have to stop using. Soon (future, not definite, noncommittal) I'm going to kick this habit." As in the Jane's Addiction song: Jane Says - "I'm going to kick tomorrow." (she's not going to).
"Everyone is telling me I need to stop [ ]. I know they're right. I know I should stop."

While an addict thinking things like the above may pave the way for them to finally make the crucial conscious and active decision to try to quit, NONE of the above examples in and of themselves are examples of an addict taking an action to try to quit.

There's a difference between wanting to quit an addiction and the addict having a profound conviction of: "Ok, I'm done. I'm stopping."

Last edited by Magna on 03 Oct 2018, 11:00 am, edited 3 times in total.

I don't sense that SarahSmith is at the stage where she MUST have a drink.

I sense she's sort of "on the fence" about the whole thing.

One thing I would say: I would not drink to soothe loneliness. This only leads to trouble. And it only makes you hide from your problems, rather than helping you seek a way to solve them.

Please, Sarah.....I would not take a drink in your situation.

There are apps for this sort of thing. Personally, one method that helps me sustain willpower is to tell myself in advance that I'll donate X amount of money to charity if I break my resolution. Very quickly I snap out of it. You have to fine-tune the amount of money though; for some people one or two dollars might work, for others it might have to be ten or twenty.

My parents used to drink and were the first ones to introduce me to it. When we drank it was a time of celebration. I dont find it as fun anymore it just waists my money and makes me queezy.

Im not a seriouse addict but I find myself waisting a lot of money on it. I just wish I was one of those people who didnt feel the need to drink. Thats the problem I sometimes feel like I have to get drunk in order to relax or its a way of coping with being alone. Perhaps AA meetings will help but right now it feels like nothing will work.